The Storm inside of me

Dark Clouds

  Layer

    after

       Layer

Surround the sun

and make the light

go dark.

Everything suddenly seems

LOUDER!!!!

as thunder crackles

and rumbles and remains

for many seconds

causing my heart pain.

A fearful storm brewing

causing destruction inside of me.

The wind blows harder out

than it does in.

Branches fall off trees.

A bolt of lightening.

Then...

 

 

the rain.

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

That was an awesome write! The imagery that you created was so detailed, and so descriptive, and I thought that the whole concept of thunder and weather in general made for an incredibly effective metaphor. I liked how at the start of the piece you changed some of the formatting, and I kind of wanted to see more of that! Maybe experimenting with the font, or the size of particular words, could result in a really visually effective poem. The content though, was perfect. I really enjoyed reading this. :)
~PaperHearts

[AndyJCash]

This is really cleverly structure, especially at the end, like we're given a moment to rest and reflect after a fast paced part and then we come to calm close. I imagined someone standing in a thunderstorm and by the close of the poem letting the rain pour on them. Good write, enjoyed it :)

[Complex Disaster]

It's storming like crazy here right now, thank you for this.

[KAREN]

WOW! I could hear the strom and then the rain!

[Jersey]

I like the fact that you used parts from an actual storm and defined your feelings with them. It's really creative and the piece is great. The bolded words actually help to draw attention to parts of the poem and make people interested in reading. Nice job.

[Bridget Mcmaken]

wow! Amazing writing! The ending is my fav part.
The wind blows harder out
than it does in.
Branches fall off trees.
A bolt of lightening.
Then...


the rain.

AWESOME WORK!

[Tahna]

Ahh the ending is awesome :-) Beautiful description

[Marie Harrison]

So peaceful this poem leaves the reader. What a great poem!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a great write. I really liked the emotion and imagery within the poem. It is how I feel at this point. I think I'm gonna cry though because poem put what I was feeling into it. I really liked this poem. Thanks for sharing. :(

[Darruesh Eetraydes]

Wow! This poem is amazing. I could picture the tumult of emotions. I enjoyed this

[Anna Kay]

this was exciting and very interesting it gave me a great picture in my head of a girl in a storm and she cant get out but this storm was inside of her. i love how discriptive you are in this. its will give alot a great picture. you really know how to paint a picture in someones head.