Problem Strikes

Sergiane bit her lips slightly as she looked at Jess who was looking out the window“ How can she helped you?” she asked, but in her mind,, that was what she was thinking : What is she doing here? Isn't it enough that I already have Basileia to mind of? Do I need to start minding about Zlogonje today? I already have enough problems to deal with!

Jess smiled “ Easy , tell me where the mortal is, and we are done.” Jess shrugged “ Easy enough for you?”

Sergiane shrugged “ Maybe? No.”

“ Why?”

“ cause I don't have the rights to guide you there.”

“ I think you are Basileia's right hand and left hand!”

Sergiane laughed, but her eyes were full with pain “ Not me, Raji is.”

Jess turned around and looked at Sergiane “ Raji?”

Sergiane nodded, she thought arr, why did I told her Raji?! She shouldn't know it, Basileia will be furious!

“ she is Basileia's real trust.”

“How?”

“Well, what you know isn't things really happens or whatever,” she pointed out the window, at a honey brown building with a set of flowers hanging down from the ceiling “ she lives there.” Sergiane shrugged “ Basileia loves her as a sister or something, who knows?”

Jess nodded wordlessly, she was unhappy, she didn't suppose there were things she didn't know' I should have figure this out she pursed her lips slightly I hate being uninformed ' she thought

Sergiane watched her reaction, she was alarmed 'I don't suppose she is unhappy, I mean, could she?' she thought

Jess smiled all of a sudden “ Sergiane? Can you bring me to Raji?”

Sergiane looked at her with eyes wide “ Um.. well” Sergiane got to thanks all the training she went through, if not, what she through will be all expose' like now Raji will listen to you as well' she thought.

Jess smiled “ Yes, why not?”

Sergiane smiled nervously ' cause I don't think Basileia will approve it,' she lied “ Basileia said anyone who want to see her need to be inform, you know.”

Jess pursed her lips again,' thats out of my..um.. expectation. No way I'll ask Urho to help me, that makes me look weak, and then I'll give a reason for Urho to laugh into MY face.' she thought

Sergiane looked at Jess, who seemed like under a deep thinking, she rolled her eyes its so hard to delay her, she thought what am I suppose to do?

Jess looked at Sergiane “ Do you know how can I see her without being see?”

Sergiane's eyes lighten up thats it! She thought I can use this to delay her, just right!

Sergiane smiled “ Jess? If you want to see her, I bet you need to wait, really, I think I can arrange you a time to see her, but not now.” Sergiane shrugged “ Maybe tomorrow?”

Jess nodded with approval “Thats better than nothing, I suppose, at least I have something to tell Zlongonje.”

Sergiane nodded as well “ So, will you go away or stay?” she prayed let it be stay, please? Let it be.

Jess shrugged “ Well, I suppose I'll go or something since I can't stay long.. um.. someone is waiting for me.”

Jess thought I don't think Urho will like me to announce he is here too, don't give pressure to the young ones, right?Maybe I can't lie, but I can play with my words, yeah, this sucks

However, Sergiane wasn't as inexperienced as Jess thought, she knew the 'someone' was Urho, it can be only him, they usually work together, Zlogonje aspects them to

Jess smiled slightly “ Can you handle things here properly? If not, I can ask for some help.”

Sergiane shook immediately “ No, I will be fine.” She thought oh, come on, what Jess call help is just some more guards to spy on me and be sure I don't do the wrong thing.

Jess nodded “ That is great, I mean, it'll be good no one expose us “ she sharpened her voice “ I'll keep an eye on you.”

Sergiane rolled her eyes since when Jess and I is we? I never admit that!

Sergiane nodded and smile “ Thanks for telling me, but that will effect me nothing since I wont do anything wrong to expose it.”Sergiane smiled at her half lie, she wont do anythings to expose them cause Basileia will kill her if she finds out, Sergiane smiled.

Jess smiled as well “ smiling is right, I guarantee we will success this plan, and you know? Zlogonje told me if you help and this success, you can move to our place and be his trust.”

Sergiane laughed “ Is this what he said exactly?”

Jess shrugged “ Not really, but that is what he meant.”

Sergiane shrugged “ It seemed you know him really well, huh?”

Jess nodded “ Yes, I do. So, you probably know you shouldn't fail me.”

Sergiane nodded “ I do know it.” of course I do, everyone knows you are his trust. She thought to herself.

Jess nodded then smiled “ I'm going.”

Jess dashed away before Sergiane can reply, “ thats unbearable, being a puppet,” Sergiane screamed to herself “ I am not a tool!”

Sergiane sighed and fell back to her sit “ It hurts.”

Sergiane's heart was broke, caused she was being a tool again, once again. However, Sergiane knew what she need to do, to go out from here before Basileia and the new problem, Jess find her, and find Vasylyna......

Author's Note

What do you think? I hope this makes you want more.. really... I do want to

Reviews

[Weaver]

comma after "looked at Jess"
"that was what" - "this was what"
"have Basileia to mind of"- do you mean "have Basileia to think about"?
period after "Jess smiled"
period after "Jess shrugged"
period after "Sergaine shrugged"
"cause I don't" - "'Cause"
"were full with pain" - "were full of pain" or "were filled with pain" - period after "pain"
period after "looked at Sergiane"
period, not comma, after "Sergiane nodded"
"she thought arr, why did I told her" - "She thought, Arr, why did I tell her"
period, not comma, after "She shouldn't know it"
"she is Basileia's real trust" - "She"
"isn't things really happens" - "isn't how things really happen"
period, not comma, after "whatever"
no comma after "out the window"
period after "ceiling"
period after "Sergiane shrugged"
period, not comma, after "nodded wordlessly"
period, not comma, after "She was unhappy"
period after "didn't know"
period after "figured this out"
period after "her lips slightly"
comma after "uninformed"
period after "she thought"
period, not comma, after "watched her reaction"
period after "alarmed"
period after "she thought"
period after "all of a sudden"
period after "eyes wide"
period after "Um... well"
"Sergiane got to thanks all the training she went through, if not, what she through will be all expose' " - I have no idea what this means
comma after "to you as well"
period after "Jess smiled"
period after "smiled nervously"
"cause I don't think" - "'Cause"
period after "she lied"
"anyone who want to see her need to be inform" - "anyone who wants to see her needs to be informed"
period, not comma, after "her lips again"
"thats out of my" - "That's"
period, not comma, after "to help me"
comma, not period, after "into MY face"
"who seemed like under a deep thinking" - "who seemed deep in thought" - period, not comma, after
period after "rolled her eyes"
"its so hard" - "It's so hard"
period after "she thought"
"what am I suppose to do" - "What am I supposed to do"
period after "looked at Sergaine"
"without being see" - "seen"
"Sergiane's eyes lighten up" - "lit up" - period after
"thats it" - "That's it"
"She thought" - "she thought" (treat thoughts the same as dialogue, and don't capitalize the first word of the tag) - period after "thought"
period after "Sergaine smiled"
period after "Sergaine shrugged"
period after "nodded with approval"
"Thats" - "That's"
period, not comma, after "I suppose"
period after "nodded as well"
"she prayed" - "She" - comma after "prayed" - capitalize "Let"
period after "Jess shrugged"
"um.. someone is waiting" - "Um"
comma after "Jess thought"
period, not comma, after "he is here too"
period, not comma, after "with my words"
I'm sorry that I cannot proofread the entire chapter, but this should be enough to show you what kinds of problems are here. Remember end punctuation and capitalizing the beginning of any dialogue or thoughts. Also, while there isn't as much of it as in the other chapter I reviewed, there is still too much of the characters shrugging. It doesn't add to the action or to characterization, and after a while it is just distracting.
I am finding it difficult to follow the plot, even within a single scene.

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Yes I want more! It's getting more and more interesting!

[Marie Harrison]

Great Chapter!

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

Well, weaver fixed all the editing stuff. I just love the story!!!!!

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good write..!! A bit of clarity will enhance the work..!!!