Oblivious

An imagined incipient something

Is so much more important when it malingers on the precipice,

Feigning un-balance, falling into someone else's hands.

And then suddenly, for them, it's real.

When nothing I could do would provoke it into solidity,

Somehow they have obtained it.

And I am left with not only the knowledge that I do not have it,

But the realization that it was real

And I was not strong enough.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

You have a good concept, but take care with the big words in the first half of the piece - feels somewhat like you've just thrown them in because they sound vaguely impressive and not because they really mean anything calculated for the overall message. Just keep in mind that the biggest word isn't always the best one to use.

[Ben Taylor]

A vague something that is imagine, not quite existent,
Seems so much more important when it feigns injury on the precipice,
Pretending to be unbalanced, using this as an excuse to fall into someone else's hands.

It sounds better with the bigger words, in my opinion. But it could go either way.