Patterns

I've learned to guard my teeth

behind tight lips,

for whenever I let a smile slip

the recipient lifts her eyes

and inevitably disappears.

It's not worth the dust between fingers

or the mud on my cheeks,

this tireless trek towards

an amorous mirage.

Reviews

[thibodauxguy]

Complex, intriguing, and somewhat insufferable is this dark poem of what comes off as a rebel with maybe too many causes. My comments are not meant as a put down, but they are my feelings concerning the merits or lack of merits within the body of this low opinion of self poetry. If love seems to be a mirage to you, then I imagine that is what it will be forever. As I mention before, I am NOT putting this poem down, just the content is bringing me back to times in my life when I was just as the poem describes.

[FJ Davis]

Sounds unpleasant and rather demeaning.
If you stop smiling, "amorous mirages" may no longer disappear; those young women who, in reality, are interested or available, however, may not appear quite so often--unless they're suckers for brooding, mysterious guys.
"Patterns," though short and not-so-sweet, is excellent poetry, Ben. (And, what the hell, you might consider playing that brooding thing for all it's worth!)