Drowning

When falling for someone doesn't quite feel the way it should.

Drowning

Like an evening sunset,

A harmony of color is ablaze.

Our love is like embers of a fire,

Each spark, flying without delays.

With such carelessness,

No, we deserve no praise.

Moving faster than the rip tide,

With currents pulling us into the haze.

And I feel as if I’m drowning,

Lifeless, moving only how the water sways.

Tell me darling,

Where is the end of this maze?

I wish to find love,

Not just another phase.

Author's Note

Getting a lot of inspiration for poetry lately. Critique and Review, welcomed with open arms. Thanks guys.

Reviews

[.nicole.]

I really liked the way it flows, the length of each line and the rhythm it helps to create, well done.

[ShadowWalker]

that is beautiful..i really like the final line....nice work :)

[Ray]

You have a talent... I think there's nothing I can say than what I've said in other reviews of your poetry, I never find anything else to thing other than your writing is excellent, I am becoming SO jealous of you, I wish I could write like that !

[Patrick]

in relation to the mechanic I loved the rhyming scheme that was gentle, selective and not forced...now if a metre was there then even better..The message, the content is certainly probing. The question asked at the end written with much affection but a sense of resignation. Liked this.

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

Great write, I love your every line of this poem. With regards.

[TC Dunn]

wow... what an amazing poem. Love the last line. Very pretty.

[zain]

Excellent!

[Coyote Poetry]

The questions of love. Only answered with time and luck. I like the description of the desire of love and wanting to know what direction the love is going. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[emman]

Emotional :) nice