Impetum

The ticking of the wall clock
echoes around the hallway.
My molten moment is here;
the future freezes in fray.

I think about all that is unravelled now
and the unwinding onslaught of a nigh day.
Lo I feel something ugly culminate. How
has our beauty becometh decay?

The burgundy blind,
which was once my horizon's main hue,
is a crumbling skyline.
The sunset splits in two.

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

"The sunset splits in two" ... immediately brings to mind the image of a broken heart. In this case the burning burgundy blind is split asunder. I have felt this burning; and while my heart was on fire, I had to rip it in two and let the only man I've ever loved in my life go. I, being the more emotive, open, honest, and expressive one just had to go and fall for someone who was closed off, non-emotive, and loved at arm's length. I was a rose, and he was a stone. You can't grow love in that kind of garden. I had to love myself first in order not to be second best.

[Dalton]

I interpret that final line the same way.
You've truly lived, as you've felt that devastation. I would repeat every event the same way, as i would not be who I am without the precession of such. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I am grateful to have experienced a stone, for that woman gave me the opportunity to become stronger, or weaker. I chose strength. You must have too. Perhaps, the more important phenomenon obtained through such devastation, is an unconscious lingering on the events and their affect. This repression is sublimated into some poetry-- a worthy and healthy outlet.
I respect your honesty, and I strongly resonate with your words.
Salute,
D

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

For me, it was a break away moment: breaking away from my weakness in order to make myself stronger. It took many years to move beyond it. When I finally did, I found myself angry for having clung so long. Some loves cling, no matter how far you run away. Yes, I'm stronger, but still without. I think sometimes a rose surrounds herself with thorns. It's somehow safer that way.

[Dalton]

I'm glad you became stronger. Clinging to love is natural, but so is breaking away for the better; I hear you. You are without that love, but dear, look at your writing-- it's brilliant.
Well said, well said.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that ticking...the beauty of a relationship ticking away...we had such a promising dawn, and for part of the day, beauty together, but sunset is another story...i like the use of alliteration in this...

j.

[Dalton]

Thank you for your review, sir. Your feedback is gratefully welcomed. Indeed, sunset was another story. Indeed.
Salute,
D

[jesserose99]

I am going to go with my gut here though I may be completely wrong...this could easily be about a large bomb going off...I think. Could you indulge me and tell me what impetum means. If it is about that, wonderful work, if it isn't wonderful work, because your words were put together with such great precision. Either way has meaning to me. Shows depth of perception to have so many ways to interpret.

[Dalton]

I'll preface my response with the following thought.
Depending on your view of art, meaning is either inherent in the work, or it is projected by the viewer (which after completing a piece the writer becomes a viewer also).



My inspiration came from a beautiful relationship, which I knew was in need of ending. It needed to end, so that neither I nor my partner would curb the other from getting what they wanted. I could not make certain comprises for her, and I did not want her to make them for me. Unconditional love, if such a thing exists, was present there. Sometimes the beholder of foresight, must make a tough decision to end the romance.
In this piece, the bomb, the upcoming conversation was weighing in on me. The anticipation was insufferable.
The last stanza reflects my reality, a few days after the foresight, where the relationship was over.

[Dalton]

Thanks for your interest and complimenting words. I've taken very careful notice of them.
Dalton

[jesserose99]

Oh, I am so glad I did find out from you because the poem is so much richer for me now. What an amazing depth to your heart. I love that metaphor, that it could be that bomb in your connection with her. I almost got there, I was just one step off. Thank you for taking the time to tell me what is close to you.