Waterpark

The way the giant bucket

That cascades water

Seems to have shrunken 

Considerably, the waters impact

Eternally lessened. 

The lazy river

shorter. the deep end

shallower. The slides

Slower. 

The way I wrap my arms 

Around my stomach 

Until my knuckles are white

In attempt to obscure

What I used to show freely. 

The way I no longer 

Become temporary best friends

With the person next to me

In a mere five minutes. 

The way the iconic

Chlorinated scent 

Now recalls memories

Of past adventures instead

Of creating new ones. 

It all makes me think

Maybe as we get older, 

Our world expands, 

But everything within it

Gets smaller. 

Maybe some objective

Lens is peeled back 

That makes the water park

Lose its sparkle. 

Reviews

[Rahul]

lovely piece you put me there on that park..lol :) nicely written..100/100

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much!

[Rahul]

lovely piece you put me there on that park..lol :) nicely written..100/100

[Angi]

Dana, I love this! Makes me say, 'Oh damn.' My kids are so excited about summer, to me it is like any other set of days. I miss the excitement of being young and carefree. You made me yearn for it here. Nicely done, girl! Angi~

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for your kind words! i wish your children all the innocence and naivety in the world (in the best way possible), and when it comes time to grow up i wish them the ability to put aside the world and still be a little kid sometimes.

[Sami Khalil]

"The lazy river

shorter. the deep end

shallower. The slides

Slower.




The way I wrap my arms "
A nice poem. I feel some unanswered questions and reflections in it...Well done...:)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you for reading and for your kind words! there are plenty of unanswered questions here that would probably be better answered by an eight year old than an overly analytic eighteen year old! such is the gift and pain of growing up...

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. So true... You are welcome...:)

[Astro]

Such a true sentiment, shown with imagery and emotion. I prefer to remove myself from those far away moments, and go "zen" when visiting old playgrounds, but even when the excitement is reached in some respects, that innocence and those feather-like friendships, born out of shared experiences is hard to come by, if at all. A perceptive and melancholy piece very nice.

[Pankaj Lohia]

its a beautiful piece of writing this one.. i loved it. The way you have used the water park to talk about things is really nice.

[Trigorin]

Not bad. I like your imagery and I like the matter-of-fact tone in this piece. Sets each other off nicely. One note - very last line, should be 'its'. Other than that, nice little descriptive piece. Good work.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you for reading and for the correction!