paper stars

my sentiment is that i'm unsure and i'm okay with that.

Adorned in caps and gowns

The graduates walk away

From the stage, new found

"Adults" return to white

Shutters, pluck their stars

From backyard clotheslines,

Waltz behind white

Picket fences, and believe

Truly, that their clothesline

Paper stars will guide them. 

that they're living the dream. 

But I guess my dreams

Were never proportioned 

For a clothesline, or cut

Into shimmering star shapes. 

I take a deep breath, 

Gather my strength, 

And walk in a different direction.

Reviews

[Rahul]

Nice work once again..every line's beautifully penned but can i have the reason behind your this piece if you don't mind ?
I'm asking because it's unable to understand me what you exactly want to say by this piece so, can i know ?

[Dana Alsamsam]

yes of course! it speaks about the fact that many high schoolers, especially where i live, seem to have their entire lives planned out for them. it's cut and dry and they know what they're doing and it's all been pre planned like plastic wrapped sweets. i've never fit in to these stereotypes and what i want to do with my life is not pre planned or artificial, it's my own path. the piece is about me having the strength to do my own thing and not follow an already tread path.

[Rahul]

ok...i think you have nice and great thinking about life and you know how to live. I was probably thinking when i was reading your this piece that it could be on shoolers but then i thought not it can't. I think your last stanza made me confused to think what i was thinking was right...lol :)
very nice piece and after clearify this, it's a beautiful seemed a deep piece of writing. I always love to read your work.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! i very much appreciate your heartfelt reviews and kind words:)

[Tomahawk Joe]

Good work I sense the expression of individuality in this poem.

[Astro]

I've been riding winds for years and chosen to forgo pre-assigned direction or suggested paths. There's nothing wrong with being unsure, especially at your age, live a life that is interesting to you and when you look back you cannot be unhappy if you were only following your heart. Quite a creative way to express this seemingly (from your stand point perhaps) mountain of an issue, that one day will be little more than nostalgic adventure beginning.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you for looking at it this way. i tend to be rather mature for my age, but i'm not afraid to admit that yes, i am a bit naive. i'm at a crossroads right now. i'm young and i have passion and direction, but that doesn't mean that i'm completely sure of my path, and now more than ever, i'm okay with it. thank you for reading and for understanding!

[Astro]

Honored to be the one to help send you on your way.

[Trigorin]

Not bad. Not very original, either, but I think you've managed to make things interesting enough to keep the audience engaged. I think the topic's a little sophomoric and I think there's things you could have done to make it appear less so - perhaps write from a more introspective, 'looking back' perspective, but even still, I think you've hit on the right combination of simplicity and good, vivid imagery in this. Good work.

[Dana Alsamsam]

this is the perspective that i personally have on the topic because i've just graduated high school...so if it sounds a bit simplistic or immature to you then unfortunately that's the point in my life that i'm at. hopefully in a few years i can produce something a bit more introspective. thank you for reading!!

[chaotic katie]

lovely poem! nice flow and very well worded. lovely imagery as well

[sparkle]

nice words , well done .. :)

[Zelle]

it talks about graduation and separation and i loved d idea! well written! :)

[B-poet]

This is a profound write shedding light on what's necessary to become a paper star during adolescence before reaching young adulthood. Great job. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for reading!