petroglyphs

if the beaded velvet of the night sky

is not holy water

i see no reason to be baptized. 

with the ebb and flow 

of the moon tide over our bodies 

the archaic mask is washed from our scars

and we begin to forget about hiding 

the mistakes carved like petroglyphs 

into our flesh. 

our ghosts and demons leak 

from our spinal cords and speak

easily through the languid air.

we let them scrub our flesh 

with august peridot

until we are euphoric and raw. 

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I'm a sucker for religious imagery and metaphor, so you had me with your first two lines. Although, I think there is a real sense of cleansing in this piece even if the sky is not holy water. These two people share their deepest secrets, all of the "mistakes carved like petroglyphs/ into our flesh" (nice simile by the way.)" And the sectors of their past wash them of all they have been through, and they are complete as long as they are together. What astounds me is the approach that you take when describing the cleansing. It's not a shedding/repenting of sin like we see in some religious contexts...the demons take center stage by rolling up their sleeves and create a new future that is "euphoric and raw."

Well done, my friend.

[Dana Alsamsam]

a good friend of mine and i had a great conversation about organized religion. that and the nature surrounding us is what combined to form this work. it was almost like who needs religion when something as simple and pure as the nature can be so cleansing? at the same time i don't think there's a need to confess any sins because the scars on our skin are beautiful. thanks for hitting this meaning right on the head and for your kind words :)

[Libby McKeown]

This is a very well designed piece. The combination of euphoria and raw is kind of brilliant, and I particularly enjoyed the first stanza. I like the esoteric nature of your work.

[Astro]

Sounds to me like a renewed vigor, and stripping of old flesh into the fire of fates floating furnace. "Euphoric and raw" indeed, well done.

[kublakhan27]

Killer first verse...a thought-provoking piece, as is most of your work...your work always demands multiple readings, which is why I like it so much...well done my friend :)

[Archangel Gabriel]

Spines and tactile images are a trademark of yours Dana and you weave them into this rather ethereal religious piece, written as always in beautiful descriptive words.

[Anand Sehgal]

we begin to forget about hiding
the mistakes carved like petroglyphs
into our flesh.


brilliant use of image :) loved it

[K. Louis]

"we begin to forget about hiding the mistakes carved like petroglyphs into our flesh" -- Lovely!
But you had me at the first stanza...

[Tomahawk Joe]

Seems like an interesting take what life and time can do to us.

[B-poet]

A vividly candid write. The written imagery you've portrayed is quite remarkable. I enjoyed every stanza. Your poetic writing well is far from being dry. Keep up the great work. An astonishing write & read. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you! that means a lot to me.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Brilliant...enough said.

Well, okay, I'll say a little more... :) I like the religious undertones and the imagery was spectacular. Each of your writes brings me closer to the feeling that you are some hyrib modern version of Plath and Dickinson should they have been able to create a test tube love child :) That was a huge compliment, by the way. Loved this one...

[Dana Alsamsam]

oh my goodness that truly is such an incredible compliment :) thank you so much! i don't think i'd mind being their test tube child at all....thanks again sarah!