Vicarious

Concieved by gloom,Iris draws his weapon and aims for his temple.Little he can do to the shadow that stares at him with unerving blankness that is stuborn to the point that it comes to this conclusion.Its presence never shyed from existence,with time it grew into the black matter of his brain.So much so that its sheer deniabilty felt like a sin,he couldn't screen himself from the vicarious monster that loomed large by the shadow.Yes he killed them,it all seemed so fair and doctrine.The little one strangled in sleep with a pillow,the wife bludgeoned by vase but the devilish signs still erupted in his head.All he thought to do next was to join them, BOOM!

Reviews

[Justin Robben]

Minor errors aside, the thing I like most about this piece is the POTENTIAL. A monster acting/living vicariously through our main character? What??? That's awesome!
There is is so much to explore there! There is so much you can do there!
I almost feel like this is a mere blurb to a larger tale. Like a bookjacket tease, hehe.

That's my biggest complaint. It's a tease. You owe it to yourself to do MORE with this concept.

[Danni Jones]

thanks my friend on your thoughts. I will surely try to take this concept and apply it to a long story.
I have just written a very short story "Cultivating a Monster",hope you check it out.

[rickm97]

Speak more of WHY he killed them. How did the blackness invade him? Who was he before? Make me feel his anguish.

[Danni Jones]

Anyone who views this pls review you can say anything