no more hope...please

He walked away the other night
left me balled up on the floor
aching and crying
my world destroyed
pieces lying around me

i knew it wasn't going to last
i knew from the very beginning
He even warned me
i even warned myself

i should have never crawled into His arms
i should never have opened up to Him
i should have never kneeled for him
i shouldn't have let Him matter
i should never have loved Him
i should never have hoped

i should have listened to the voice in my head
He'd never want me forever

too young
too emotional
too needy
too stupid for ever thinking, just maybe...

He said i was good enough for anything i wanted
He's sweet for saying it
though He shouldn't have lied

in the end
i wasn't good enough for Him
and He's all i wanted

i wanted everything
but i would have taken nothing
any little thing He'd give me
i would have made it enough

my little comforts are all asleep now
piled up in my big lonely bed
animals spread about
my littlest sleeping under our guardian angels watchful eyes

my bed that is so full of little love and joyful youth
and me, here sitting out in the cool night
trying to hide the tears that are still falling
my heart still breaking

i can't hate Him
i knew He'd never want forever
too much baggage
just not right for Him

everything
all my tears
all the pain
it's all on my own hands
my own fault

hope never did me any good before
never made my father a good parent
never made my mother stay
never made my GB's mother be a mother at all
never got me anything i ever wanted
i should have known better than to hope