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It's more than shinning
He is more than any words

made me see myself
and for once i almost liked what i saw

with Him...
i never felt like i was lacking
i'd almost gotten over my many flaws

with Him i could just be

or i thought i could

but i wasn't right
wasn't good enough to keep Him
too flawed

i should be happy He spent any time with me at all
instead of sitting here crying still
my heart shouldn't have broken into so many pieces

it's not like i didn't know He'd grow tiered of me
and everything that came with me

He said so much in that last conversation
i wonder if He even realized....

He was wrong about so much
but i didn't fight
i didn't correct Him
i didn't defend myself
i didn't say much of anything

i made a promise to myself when we first began the second time around
i'd only stay as long as i was wanted
that i'd give myself enough respect not to act like a child when the time came
when He finally told me He was through with me

i have to say
heart breaking into a million pieces, tears pouring down my face
chest pains slicing through me like a fillet knife
and i still pulled it off

i didn't beg Him to keep me
though good how i wanted to drop to my knees and beg Him, that i'd anything, for him to simply tell Me i was still His
i didn't argue
though i wanted to fight his choice with everything in me, how i wanted to grab a hold of Him and not let Him leave me
i didn't even correct his misconceptions
though parts of me wanted to point at his words and tell him no, that's not right, you saw it wrong

if nothing else
i'm proud of myself for not breaking
for keeping my promise to myself

but it does me so little good
as i curl into my pillows without my Domly One