waiting on the spiders

I hug myself and try to keep still
for by moving I upset

the delicate balance of the world
destroying it

I await the spiders

they flood the ground
as they surround
hairy puddles glistening

in maniacal mechanical madness
they climb they claw
my mouth closed in an endless scream
echoing forever
heard by no one
except for me

so be still when you await the spiders
dont upset the delicate balance
dont destroy the world
just silently endure
for a moment of eternity

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Daniel 2nd review.

The imagery of spiders pervades the piece.

They are frightening.

But in the end you hit my world, but just in my view.

The world of the mentally troubled:

'I await the spiders
'they flood the ground
as they surround
hairy puddles glistening
in maniacal mechanical madness'

Though I am bipolar, none of us need to be to appreciate the sentiment here.

The key words here for me are:

'dont upset the delicate balance'.

Life is an endless struggle to find safe and common ground where balance resides.

Yet at the same time, we all want to achieve.

I often think in the Olympics why one man in the 100 metres hurdles will have spent four years, all day on sponsorship trying to achieve something only to find he is last in the first heats.

Why do it?

For the love of it.

A poem that touches any buttons of whoever may read it.

With kind regards

James

[daniel lee johnson]

Thanks James and once again you put in plain language what I try to express. I am bipolar also. While it does and has presented problem in my life. It makes for good poetry though if you can tap that vein hahaha. I like the fact you deconstruct and analyze what I wrote. Please continue !!!
I look forward also to conversing with you on writing.

[daniel lee johnson]

And that has been a lifelong love of mine ....Words. Besides if I didn't write the words in my mind my head might explode :-)

[James Hanna-Magill]

I am bipolar Daniel, Let's talk.James

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

Creepy. Spiders always make me feel creepy and the way you've expressed it was even creepier.

in maniacal mechanical madness
Nice play of words here. I like the line. :)

A really good poem.

[kason31]

Alot of messages being said in this poem about spiders in represent of the trials and tribulation we face as humans. I love this poem.

[daniel lee johnson]

Thank you Kason!!!!

[daniel lee johnson]

Thank you Kason!!!!

[kason31]

No problem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

arachnophobia abounds...as those webs are weaved around us that give us that suffocated feeling of madness...whether we are in an endless scream of heartbreak...or just silently enduring our lonely own world.

[daniel lee johnson]

Sometimes that's all I can do is silently endure. Thanks for the review !!!

[jeannemarie coulter]

excellent imagery and a chilling feeling shared...we can be so destructive it hurts