Hell

Yesterday a good friend,
Today a murderous trend.
On the outside you look good,
But on the inside you rot.
I trusted you like everyone else,
Killed my trust with dirty lies,
Gave me hate.
Away with you to a place,
Where you wont live,
You'll die day after day...
Yet still you'd still live.
In darkness of eternal damnation.
In the shadows of bright flames.
Tell the devil i said hi.
In the place....
Where the angels wont save you,
Where god can't reach you,
Where everyone is like you,
Evil.
I've been livin there,
But now i'm here,
Not like this place is any better.
Not to me.
On the right of last words, tell me what you want, and jump, or be thrown.

Author's Note

Not everythin rhymes

Reviews

[Stars and Whales]

This is a great, dark poem! I love all of the poems I have read from you so far...I'd say you have a good chance of being published someday! Thanks for sharing!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you :)

[Stars and Whales]

No problem, Danny.

[A writer]

Well... Aaron said it all. Its really dark, and powerful.

[AaronFreitas]

"Tell the devil i said hi.
In the place....
Where the angels wont save you,
Where god can't reach you,
Where everyone is like you,
Evil.
I've been livin there,
But now i'm here, "

I love the way you coast through these lines... very dark words and thoughts yet the flow well and are so direct. Awesome work!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you. Yeah, this was an instant write. Like the feeling came, and five minutes later i've been reading through it, looking for words that need to be replaced.

[AaronFreitas]

Thats awesome... those are sometimes the funnest and proudest writes :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yeah, thats true. I believe that any write will have real quality in it when the writer puts in heart not just mind. And that usually happens in instant writes.

[AaronFreitas]

Instant writes are fun... the one I just did the other day Sink or Swim was written on my phone as I chilled on my porch thinking... just let it flow :)