The Dance of Spirits

I wrote this for a contest and the picture is what I was supposed to write off of. I might make this into a story. Until then, this a small moment

 

I gazed in wonder at the scene that stretched over my head and stretched into the horizon. The icy waters were clear and shifted continuously. The bridge of ice in front of me was like an ice sandcastle. The nighttime sky only moments had been clear and full of stars. Then ribbons of light slid through Night’s dark cape’s folds. Twisting like snakes through the endless plains of the sky, they shone and rippled in an unfelt wind. I watched the strands of purple-blue bands of shining light swim through the Sky’s ocean. The stars shone brightly and were the watching eyes of countless fish like those under my winged canoe. I heard my brother gasp in wonder. I just smiled and let my spirit fly with the spirits of nature.

Then I heard the Gods singing. Ancient words swept around me and I felt the Gods’ own presence within me as the magnificent dance of light began. Unknowingly, I began to sing with the voices of the sky and ocean. I opened my eyes and watched the rippling lights and saw my wolf spirit hunt among the spirits of other animals. I wanted to join my spirit and dance with the others. To dance with the spirits and feel the full presence and embrace of Peace.

 

Author's Note

Did I rant too long? Any suggestions?

Reviews

[musical-waltz]

I think this is a very good story!!! and about the repeating words and words in capital, I think everyone repeats words in their essay and Words In Capital is for attention grabbing! I don't think theres a problem with that..

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

I think you have the beginning of a book. Sounds good as the opening. You said that you rant too long. Well that is what authors are made of ranting on and on and on.

[Alex]

Who cares if he repeated words? That's not gonna help. The point is that he made a very intresting and catching story. I liked it!

[daftinklings]

You repeat words a lot. like " stretched", "ice", "night", "sky", also I found it confusing how you put some words in capital while their counterparts, you didn't. But apart from all that, I found the way you described everything to be very good. The imagery is nice.