Never Understand

This is a touchy subject. 

And I get that. 

I suffer it everyday. 

But I need to get this out... 

I'm not sure. 

How bad everyone is. 

 

Or if you even have an issue. 

About their weight. 

But. 

To really be honest... 

I'm the biggest of our group... 

You can try an argue. 

But if you think about it. 

It's the truth. 

And yeah. 

It takes it's toll. 

Everyday. 

And I understand. 

That others. 

Feels like are huge.

But ya know? 

You could be where I am. 

Pushing 300. 

Having your mom. 

Tell you. 

Whenever you go for junk food. 

"You know. 

Your going to end up with diabetes." 

Looking in the mirror. 

And seeing the weight on your body. 

That some people think they are. 

I live it. 

Every f*****g day. 

Worrying if my clothes even fit me anymore. 

Not being able to fit on fair rides. 

Easily. 

Or having to ride alone... 

Having to ask for a XL 

Or 2X. 

In front of everyone. 

When they wear smalls or mediums. 

It's terrible... 

And no one.. 

Will ever truly understand... 

Author's Note

I'm sorry..

Reviews

[Frieda P]

People can be cruel but usually they don't hit the spot half as hard as we beat ourselves up about what we see as our flaws, people are all weights and sizes, colors and characters, what's inside is what counts, that might sound like a cliche but it's really so true. You have the courage to change if you're not happy with how you look, it apparent in your words....

[Kitten]

Thank you.

[Blank]

It always surprises people when I tell them that I've struggled with my self-esteem my entire life. I can't count how many times when I was little, other kids flat out told me I was ugly or that I looked sick (I was very scrawny, and very pale) People comment without thinking, they had no clue that everything they pointed out negatively appeared glaringly in the mirror, and no amount of positive praise could undo it. Throughout school I longed to be pretty like other girls, then one day I decided I was tired of worrying about it. I was done, I quit, and the best thing happened - I found out that people really liked me, not a body and not a face...

Don't let others get to you, sure we all want to be healthy but that's a life-time goal, something to work towards over the years. You are more than an image, so much more, always remember that.

I can't tell you that I totally understand, I do a little, in a different way, and I know it's so much easier to say that I'm going to think positively and not care what others say than it is to actually do, but you can do it. And it wont happen overnight, it takes years to undo the damage that others so carelessly inflict, but rest assured it can be undone.

Your words are beautiful, so I know you are too. Thank you for sharing this.

[Kitten]

Thank you so much

[annie lee]

Do not apologize. Fat does not diminish the fact that you are a person fully entitled to BE HERE on this earth; there is no fat between your ears (thin people seem to think all fat people are stupid and deaf). Obesity is an issue that is many-layered: genetics, chemical imbalances in the brain, malfunctions of some tiny key glands in the brain (endocrine system irregularities) and stigma, rejection by society, only worsens all these conditions. I am 66 and have been obese all my life; I had successful gastric bypass surgery in 2005 and lost almost 200 lbs. But my daughter had in 2003 and has nearly died numerous times and has been subjected to two more surgeries and will be disabled the rest of her life because of the botched first operation. My daughter's frightening health issues and several family losses precipitated my having a nervous breakdown and regaining 80 lbs.

You are not alone. Don't let people label you as a one-dimensional obese statistic. I have a poem here (free verse) that I would like for you to read:

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/2minichinz/1201487/

You are young. I know exactly how you feel. But you are as important in this world as any malnourished model or anyone else. I remember trying to be invisible, never speaking to anyone, sitting in the back row, making excuses to pass up outing where I knew my size would be an obstacle. I felt your anguish in this poem. And there are people who will understand. Like me. I'm here.

[Kitten]

I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter and I hope she lives a happy life despite all of her hardship. But thank you very much.

[annie lee]

You are welcome. Please feel free to communicate with me. I am serious about being supportive to people in this untenable position.

[Bound In Red]

I understand it sis. Maybe not to the extent of what you really feel. But I get it. I just hope one day that you see there are better, more healthy ways to lose weight. Starving yourself or throwing it up or how ever you try to not to get food in your system, is the worst way to get what you want. It really does destroy what you are trying to get..