Waves of Nautica

When Pirates attack their island home, Malu wants to prove himself a warrior...

'Alright, little brother.' Kileona said. 'Let's go. I'll watch your back.'
Malu nodded, sweeping down towards the nearest jet ski. Too late, the Pirate saw him and tried to change course, just as Malu's fist struck him in the nose, his roundhouse kick slamming him into the handlebars and he slipped from the saddle with a splash.
Not bad... Kileona conceded, as Malu whooped, raising his first into the air. Then, there was a roar of an engine and another Pirate shot past them, the wash from his jet ski knocking Malu from his board and he swept round for the kill.
'No!'

Author's Note

Want to know what happens to Malu?
Check out "Waves of Nautica" by David Jae on Amazon Kindle for 99p
Also, any reviews or comments very welcome.

Thank you.

Reviews

[McKenzie J Chatterton]

I love the cultural tones in your works, it really adds to the story and characters. This is an interesting start to something that could be a wonderful adventure/action piece!

[David Jae]

Thank you very much.

[Sanhorsey]

Just a suggestion, and by that I do not mean to be rude or want to you to take it in the wrong way, but I think that if you truly want people to download your book on Kindle, you ought to give a little more of it, at least a chapter or so.
The main reason we turn the page of a book is because we want to know what happens next to the characters, but we wouldn't really be interested to know what happens next to the characters if we are not attached to them. When we started reading the paragraph you gave, we are not attached to any of the characters, so we don't really care what happens to them. That is the reason most authors plan a back story for their characters, although of course, the back story is revealed in due time.
I would suggest you start by telling a little more about them, their life, etc. and how their island was attacked before getting into the real action.

[David Jae]

Thank you for the feedback.

I'm experimenting with flash-fiction, so the story will naturally be short. I'm trying to get people to care about my characters quickly and maybe I fell short. I'll address this in the future. I appreciate your honesty.