Truth of my Love

Will your kiss be onto my lips tomorrow?

When winter shows its tears for its lost

Men will hold a grudge, for my love overgrows

I have a passion, yet every verse in time will cost

My heart knows, this earthly tomb shows half your part

Beauty is your soul’s complexion that hides no lies

Heaven shows you’re a work of art

Age will scorn this eternal youth of my eyes

My vision still reminisces on the song of your tongue

Time reveals the nakedness of my love

I rip out my heart and consume every breath of my lung

Just so you could hear my heart beat from above

Author's Note

I tried writing a sonnet, hope you enjoy it :)

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

do you remember what i told you to do in the last review (leap of love)? Well, you did perfectly and superbly here !!! I can say this poem has pathos !! I love sonnets and you've made an amazing one, rhymes are great ! The last rhyme is a visual one, loved the fact you've decided to finish the poem with one of these :)

[Siren]

beautiful. I'm terrible at writing sonnets myself, mostly because of the the rhyming. You did a wonderful job here! :]

[Mockingbird]

it is a lovely sonnet. sounds like it's from keats. you really convey the depth of his love and ardor.

[Cathy Wattam]

I like this David but had the same issue as Meghan with regards to punctuation. To add, I personally would rather read either "My visions still reminisce..." or "My vision still reminisces...". I also wonder whether when you rip out your heart you should consume every breath of your lungs? Just my personal preferences.

I love the line "Time reveals the nakedness of my love". Some nice sentiments here.

[R.G. Bennet]

Very nicely done. Love the expression in each line, as well as the imagery employed.

"Age will scorn the eternal youth of my eyes"-- favourite line.

[Meghan]

I enjoyed reading this piece, but at points the enjambment was a bit confusing; I suggest adding end punctuation if you're looking to revise. For example, I read the second line expecting the clause to continue onto the next, reading "lost" as an adjective instead of a noun. A comma would help with that confusion, but it might just be me. I also think stanzas would benefit the ease of reading, while they're not entirely necessary.

Nice work, all around. Not something you read every day.