The Whirlpool

A tribute to the poet Mona Lisa, and an attempt to write in her style

 

The Whirlpool (a tribute to the poet Mona Lisa)

 

Here I am trying to be Mona Lisa without sophistry,

without her flow of words, images, raw emotions

dragging me across pages of memories, neuron files

lacking sophistication as I recall the pall of Bronx

Schools and children pummeling their way into my

attention, from every dimension, different as any

child or parent can be from me, in pigments of color,

and skin that is glowing, growing in a land of violence,

that I’ve never lived. Without my opportunity

they cannot see a path out of the devastation

that surrounds them, the deaths in the streets,

courtyard gunfights, and siren nights, listening

at eight and ten, eleven years old.

They’ll talk about it, won’t be proud unless

they can leave it, the project towers

looming behind them, sentries plotting

endless barbed wire traps to prevent their

escape, rape and murder to break them, rats

and prisons to scratch and catch them,

society plotting to keep all its underclass

underneath its feet, still downtrodden, their

lives hidden, forgotten on welfare lines

and dead-end educations that can’t teach them

while the whirlpool sucks at their feet.

 

David P. Eckert

Reviews

[Jessica Standifird]

I really like the way this poem moves, it begs to be read aloud. I like how the whirlpool doesn't come into play until the end of the piece, too. There's so much truth in your observations, the odds are stacked against so many, and yet...some step forward and shine. Not without having to pull their feet from the whirlpool, though. Great poem!

[Krystal Waters]

Wow! Powerful, every thing you wrote. A great picture of our society... slowly decaying and yet you nailed it! Your words... If I could give you a ten on this I would, but since I can't I'll say its over the top!!! Astounding!!!!!!


Krystal

[T. L. O'Neal]

Very graphic imagery David, illustrates a whole different world to a lot of us.

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

a person who is deserving of tributes and veneration, mona lisa.

it is pieces like this and the wonderful woman to whom it was for, that uplift and give hope to us all. everyone needs to hear this and believe there is a way to help.

thank you

[R. MonaLeza]

I am honored and very humbled by this beautiful poem. This brought back so many images I've tried to catalogue in my mind as "life." It takes just one hand reaching out to make a difference, and my hat is off to you for being one of those amazing people that tries to make that difference. Thank you so very much! Fantastic words.

[Paul Grimsley]

cool. very cool. you have good flow here and some really striking imagery. what a great tribute to a great person.