Once Came A Girl With Hair Aflame

A walk down memory lane with a flame that never quite lit.

 

Once Came A Girl With Hair Aflame

 

Once came a girl with hair aflame

her pail skin a freckled mosaic,

her soft curves and voice an invitation.

 

I knelt daily at her shrine

in celibate devotion,

lost in wait for her beckon,

prisoner of my imagination.

 

Come September her friends inquired

about the new beau haunting her,

awakening desire in her

to crush my crush ruthlessly.

 

Blue and lost I circled

with no port of call

waiting for a lighthouse beacon

to guide me ashore.

 

Maturing thoughts graced

our belated warm embrace,

friends, not lovers

in deepened understanding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Ebby]

David, a pure slice of your journey, in fitting words. She has the most beautiful hair.
I hope you are successful in your competition, as this is an honest and deserving write.
Thank uou for inviting me to read it. This stood out to me:

Blue and lost in that warm September
our circles separated
never to join as lovers,
but as some other circles,
we yet re-linked as warmest friends.

Friendship can endure...
Kind regards. :)

[Tomás Ó C..]

Ah, yes... those redheads can be bewitching!!!!

[Hh/happy Bunny Lives On..]

I had a crush, I did get over eventually however I at times think of him. Your poem shows that first love or the crush of the heart can go on for years. How we affect each other, we ourselves don't know... only the one we afffected so long ago. I hope someone is thinking of me as nicely as you have illustrated here.




HH

[Lionel Braud]

the description of the girl is eloquent-mosaic of freckles
you say her curves and voice are an inviatation. I want to know how.

great poem throughout though.

[Siege Powell]

What a beautiful and agonizing expression of desire. Great Job! ^-^ Bravo!!!

[Antony]

David, this was so gracefully done, Imagination or not, I think it is a healthy part of our existence to have these infatuations, even when we know they are out of our reach.
Tony

[Krystal Waters]

Ahhh I missed this one! Sorry so slow, I saw it when I was making my comment about Rising Water.. ha ha I really like the description, the feeling that you put into this, a crush on a crushed heart. I think we all have felt that pain... and it's so true, the very earth they walk on is heavenly!

[J.P. Bristow]

"waiting for a lighthouse beacon
to guide me ashore. "
.....................this is my favorite out of all the pearls of wisdom you wrote here! And thus she will remain like music from another room- never to spoil-but remain perfect and evermore upon the yellow brick road. I think we all have a version of her in our lives- and each of us have our moment..our green gables.

[Blackbirdsong]

Unrequited love. So wonderful and painful.

I knelt daily at her shrine
in celibate devotion,
lost in wait for her beckon,
prisoner of my imagination

You captured that rite of passage beautifully.

[Amy Widmer]

Such a beautiful poem about admiration of true loveliness. Well done, friend.

[Molly Katherine]

very foreboding... brooding.... something very dark about the peice... makes me kind of nervous, on the edge of my seat... nice contrast of words and vowel sounds and pitch... the high pitched eerie sounds contrasting with the low tired im-worn-out sounds... has a great effect.... nice