Rainy Day Reminders

The wet days make for an interesting muse.

 

The sound of footsteps

on wet concrete

sounds like ghosts

spooking my mind.

The water leaves no footprints

so the mystery remains

a voice from beyond the grave.

Trying to follow the sound

my feet become cold

from stepping in puddles,

or is it resonating

from the chill in my soul

creeping down my spine

like a spider’s web?

Did it bite me while

weaving its wicked design?

Cause I never felt the bite

but I sure do feel the sting

creating a black hole in my heart.

Has the poison thickened my blood?

for my legs feel as though

full of concrete

forcing me to stand still in the sun

while it dries up the rain

turning this haunting

into a sobering memory. 

Reviews

[Frieda P]

This is superb Dale, I really felt it....one thing, I wasn't feeling that '?', sort of stopped the flow for me...just my opinion. Otherwise Kudos, great read.

Love 'The water leaves no footprints' ...that punched it for me.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you so much, glad you liked it... that rainy weather brings great inspiration... not sure which "?" you are talking bout cause there are three. I used them because of asking the questions.

[Frieda P]

Has the poison thickened my blood?
for my legs feel as though
full of concrete...think it would work just as well with a comma and not stop the momentum, hey, that's just my opinion, I'm no expert, just how it felt to me :-)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Sorry for the delayed response. The cafe got really slow for a while... any ways I don't mint the suggestions... even if I use it or nit I want to know what people think, it helps in the growing process as a writer. Thank you again.

[LA Lorena]

Great imagery here Dale, a most enjoyable, yet chilling read.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

That is fitting, it was inspired by chilly weather... thank you.

[Lily Mae]

Those last two lines are killer.. actually the whole thing is but it would look stupid if I quoted it all. Your great descriptive power lets you as a reader feel the heaviness..xo

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you so much... that rainy weather makes for great inspiration.

[KAOlmsted]

Damn. This is really good, Dale. Great imagery from you, as always. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Well thank for taking the time to read and respond.

[KAOlmsted]

I always have time for you!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Awe shucks *blushing*

[KAOlmsted]

:-D

[Hayley]

I've read this poem a couple of times already and can't seem to collect my thoughts enough, but I like it! I like the parallel with the puddles and the rain to the heaviness of the "poison" thickening the blood.
It does seem that way, though, every morning when I wake up.
"forcing me to stand still in the sun
while it dries up the rain
turning this haunting
into a sobering memory."
Thanks for the never disappointing write!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Well thank you for the kind words... I always like when you enjoy my work.

[SparrowSong]

This is what I love about the rain. It brings a myriad of emotions, some good, some sad..some haunting. You have captured the latter beautifully in this. Your first few lines really drawing the reader in. Nicely done!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much... those first few lines flew out of me as I stared at a puddle in front of Starbucks.

[SparrowSong]

We never know from where the inspiration will come...in a puddle in front of Starbucks sounds like as good a place as any :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

I know I love when inspiration comes out of nowhere. Best kind.

[Ed Hart]

man, this is strong living, and great writing

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much sir... a great compliment coming from you.