I Dyed

A colored senryu

 

You caused me to dye,

cause my skin is now pale blue

and my heart dark green.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

Mmmm. Nicely done! Good to read you.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you, always good to have you stop by.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Nicely written. I like the idea of the colors...blue could be moody and melodramatic, and green evokes thoughts of envy. I love Haiku and Senryu myself, posted a few of my own. It's such a fun and suprememly difficult thing to get right.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much, you have some interesting insight.

[Lily Mae]

Nice..sounds like you had a great time.. lol...x

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Hmmm...

[Muse]

I will dip you in sparkles and color in some polka dots...will this make you feel better?

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

"I feel pretty, oh so very pretty..."

[Eileenws]

This is the plight of the Easter egg. When is it time to eat it? Nice job.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Well it is Easter themed but nothing to do with Easter.
Thank you

[Renée]

oh the things i can say..but won't because i am behaving..... Love Sick ...

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Say it... life is too short to behave :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see the dying as a good thing here...i see beautiful azure skies and the dark serene green as that of a body of water.

this one gave me a comfortable chill.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Very Good, I like that. Thank you.

[Daydreamer]

Dear poet sir...You dyed that eggs shell and the heart of it is the yolk which tends to turn green.

OR

The coldness of emotion and jealousy at heart.......

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you... yes it could be "or" or both depending on your perspective... thank you.

[Tree]

Dale there is something odd about this piece that draws you in, attracts. The visual, the colors. The dead cold of blue and the color green. There is death and envy/ or death and growth... Coloring the poem gives incredible imagery when done with care and you did just that. Though, you might want to consider losing the "now" right before ''pale blue'' -- I don't think you need it.

DPaz

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you sir... I made a change... my bad on that one.
Glad to see the poem makes people think, that is what I want.

[Tree]

Adding color into your poem is akin to the painter dipping his brush, it just does something. Brings the poem to life. Probably has something to do with creating a bridge into the center of the imagination, connecting some important neurons, what not...

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Excellant point.