The Human Factor

Haiku or senryu? Depends on how you view it.

A dusty road leads

To an untouched river’s flow

Till I bathe in it.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

most definitely this will "take me to the river and drop me in the water" nicely penned.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Nice ......with a bulk of dust to disperse in to the river, all at once perhaps :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Interesting thought. Thanks again.

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

I might have said "we" ... but my mind is always "there" ...

You painted a little picture .. nice

Jazz :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you Jazzy xo

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

:)...................... X

[icelandicblue]

I like the zen vibe to this. It's really quite beautiful.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much.

[icelandicblue]

There is a saying, still waters run deep- your poem made me think of that.

[Androglossia]

Nicely done. I think behind a man's calmness lie unfathomable secrets or stories deep within until a single word is spoken.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

A very interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Nicely done. A nice little Haiku, in my opinion, as it is more visual, especially the first two lines. My only suggestion...punctuation at the end of the second line--either a colon or semi-colon (it's a little traditional, but I think it would work well here).

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you for the review and suggestion... I think that punctuation would on ly be needed if i didn't have the Till to start the next line. I do appreciate what you said.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

As I said, it's a style thing, not necessary

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

I understand :)

[The Analog Kid]

Either way, beautiful write, Dale.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you sir.

[Frieda P]

Is that with, or without bubbles? Nice one Dale...

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Good question... personally I make my own bubbles.

[Frieda P]

Ha!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

:)

[Frieda P]

xD

[Marie]

Is this a senyru or a haiku? It deals with nature, yet something beyond nature...

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You make a good point, I guess how you see it depends on what you call it.

[Daydreamer]

Enjoyed this. But you know me just a little by now....LOL....and you know I have to add my 2 cents and to your ever flowing fountain of words. "That particular road left a little tarnish on my soul and all was clean and pure until I touched it and left the tarnish my soul upon its now dirtied purity."
In other shorter words..."I got a lot of visualization out of those three impressive lines."

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much, your two cent was worth so much more.