What You Can Not See

  

Shadows creep along rusted walls

Using the cover of night’s blanket

To whisper things never spoken

Only to choke on their own tongues.

 

Without a voice they carve it in stone

Using fingernails until they bleed

Making the sacrifice for all they seek

In attempts to destroy mankind’s alter ego.

 

Wrapped up in stealth tendencies and using

Superficial death as the weapon of choice

To bring down the enemy that built this great wall

And find the source of its evil power.

 

Relentless and against popular demand

Tirelessly they work without praise

For it is that you cannot see

That can build or destroy your dreams.

Reviews

[Lizanne]

Maybe the political prison, with no government to speak up for us. Could be inscribing our own tombstones from the lack of fighting back against this monster that we have allowed to grow and is now consuming us.
If that is correct then we know the source of its evil power. Popular demand is to allow it to continue to grow in presence until common man is so far gone that government takes over the management of our children creating a civilization of human drones to do their bidding. Perhaps we are on the cusp of an uprising or rebellion. Whatever the outcome, this is a brillantly dark and visual writing. I can actually see the finger writing on the wall. A wonderful metaphor filled work.

[Tracie Skarbo]

ohh wow... great job on this one... the last two lines are so true. But it is also how and what you do with what you can see that will build a strong foundation. I struggled to find a part that I liked more then the others. But I can't do it... so all of it is going in my favs. Great job!

[Poetic Beauty]

I love the last line in this poem. This is so thought evoking and makes you take a deep look at things that go on around you. Not every aspect of life is what it seems at first. Great job as always

[Bud]

This is a deep and tantalizing piece, Dale! Very much a thought provoking piece...that is a good thing. Your Master hand has done it again! Astonishing!

[Legion]

You speak as if you have taken league with the legion. I find this especially charismatic for its subject matter. Wonderfully written. Exceptionally descriptive. Well done.

[Spoken]

Without a voice they carve it in stone
Using fingernails until they bleed

great description, gives a grossum flash to the mind.

Superficial death as the weapon of choice.... i really like this line also. It describes so perfectly what can tear someone apart.... "superficial death" makes me think of a scratch or wound that if left alone to heal it would be fine, but if we pick at it and make it more than it is it can infect us. Awesome as usual

[Stacey Watts]

What you cannot see so many things in my opinion can apply to this brilliant piece. This was absolutely we written. I like the flow and the imagery. You always build an intriguing story. This is a excellent piece.

[Winter McPherson]

Yes, I have to agree with one of the reviews below - its very edgy. Is this about war? The CIA? You've got my curiosity peaked......I can't figure it out. But its a great write! Very cool......

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

Wonderful! Goodness.....what an I say, it's lovely! x0x00x
makes you tink.....hum x0x0x0

[J.Black]

Holy. This was wonderfully written... I loved it. "Without a voice they carve it in stone, Using fingernails until they bleed, Making the sacrifice for all they seek, In attempts to destroy mankind's alter ego." BEST lines! Edgy.