footsteps

the space between our footsteps

is growing more distant with
every step we take.
and our fingers can't touch,
and our hearts don't recognize
one another anymore.
if i were to whisper 'i love you'
the emptiness would steal it away.
if you were to whisper 'i love you'
her ears would hear in an instant.
so i won't waste my breath on
broken promises whispered into nothingness,
i'll just waste my thoughts on
broken memories fading into nothingness
as the space between our footsteps
grows more distant with every step we take.
 

Reviews

[Moki]

so i won't waste my breath on
broken promises whispered into nothingness,
i'll just waste my thoughts on
broken memories fading into nothingness


awwwww.

[Bryce Simonds]

I enjoy the repitition as well as the others do.
Good job Ashlaaaaaaaaay
-Bryce

[Lillian]

my favorite poem by my favorite ashley!!!!
-Lillian

[Gabrielle]

oh s**t, lady.

this is so good.

"oh, shut up ben!" - julia.

[Ben Walton]

i like the imagery and stuff here, and the recurring themes.

one thing i MIGHT do, change the word "nothingness" in lines 12 and 14. I would keep them the same word, but i wouldn't have the word be nothingness. when reading, i saw the repetition and i thought it was lack of word choice but looking back i realized it was repetition.

haha, i dont know how to explain it, it was just choppy there and i think changing the word would fix that.

but it was good. i did enjoy it :)