Death by destruction

The destruction makes the world stop

The pain that Imade kills more than on

Their lives are now messed up with what i did

What happens to the world

When you lose a loved one

Destroys the lives of many

Death makes a destroyed city

Heearts of thousands lost to the untimely death

Which brought us down

Where the pain won't stop

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

some spelling errors but other then that this is really good i quite enjoyed it, filled of emotion and deep, i liked these lines:
"What happens to the world
When you lose a loved one"
... interesting title as well.

[Caitlin Lea]

I, too, think it's neat to use that kind of "slam poetry" feeling. There are definitely some powerful ideas here, such as; "What happens to the world/ When you lose a loved one/ Destroys the lives of many...." Etc. I think my suggestion would be to reword some of it to make the language stronger. For example; "The world pays dear/ For one fallen soul/ And multitudes pay the price." That is just an example, of course (and not a very good one at that), but the idea is just to make the language a bit stronger and more interesting.

Feel free to disregard this, of course! I like the idea of this poem a lot. :-)

[alerodri]

I can relate make su think wht u would take back, but i i can say is all what has happened to u maks u, well u but it still stucks at times

[Emily Filkins]

I can relate, and im sure a lot of other people can too
what i like is the free-style esc to it, gives it that kinda slam poetry feel
you penned your thoughts exceptionally well
good job
:)

[Say]

Guilt really can be crushing, can't it? You've made a very strong picture here.

[Pretty Ugly]

I could relate a lot to this. You captured the emotion and scene perfectly. Good job :)