weight in the eyes

yesterday,

have to say that you walked

freely,

as if the world was yours

for the taking &

you were the possession of

no one,

however,

today, you have

an undeniable weight in your

eyes,

that unmistakable

weight

of possible romance or

ensuing intimacy,

or that worry that comes with

early jealousy,

bred in the bowels of

what you secretly think is going to

“last forever”

&

it beats down on the back of your

neck,

bringing your head down,

making you check your phone

every other minute

as if said new fling had just texted you,

as if they just updated something on

facefuck or twatted about you &

them,

as if you suddenly mattered now,

when just yesterday,

you were

nothing---

but alas, when you were nothing,

you were free &

now you are wondering

even as you read this,

just what they are doing

when they aren’t with you,

just when you will get to meet them

again,

just what exactly will happen when

you do &

you

fantasize

fantasize

fantasize,

as if you had any choice whatsoever

left to speak of.