domino effect of an obvious rupture

there is an obvious rupture

in the relationship that s/he’s trying to

preserve---

it showed its face when s/he accepted

kindness from someone that s/he secretly

found attractive,

it showed its face when s/he started to

remember things about him/her

that s/he really shouldn’t have been

pondering for so long, had s/he been

truly dedicated to his/her significant other of

choice---

certainly the rupture began to show

when the flirting began,

when the two tossing their heads bag in

laughter,

began to blurt out the name, the memory of

the other faces not present in the moment &

some would say that

danger

was being invited---

the domino effect echoes,

it stains & forms an imprint on the inside,

even if one doesn’t really think they want it &

when they go home at night &

they want to f**k, but the person they’ve chosen

doesn’t feel like rolling over,

they go to their special place &

masturbate to the memory of this new person in

their life,

with eyes squeezed shut,

with heart beating fast,

wishing that they had done different,

wishing that they had held out alone

for just a little bit longer,

thinking that all the pieces would’ve fallen

the exact same way---

after the release,

sitting in their own juices,

they long with all their heart to see this new person

again,

knowing that the dominos are still falling,

knowing that it can all be leading towards something,

wondering if it is all worth it to

toss the present stability up into the air,

in order to try

again.