army of me, bjork:

song: bjork gouache on paper: Army of Me (2003): Amy Cutler

in front of you there is

an obstacle---you knew

it was there when you

started walking in this

direction that you have

wanted to for a while---

but the fear had kept you

away for so long---the

pure unadulterated dread

that writhed up your

spine every moment

that you thought you

might have to think for

yourself---that you may

just have to weasel your

way out of this one on

your own---now your own

precious nightmare looks

back at you with crystal

clear clarity---and you

can’t blame anyone for

what it is that has held

you down---you can’t

find anymore scapegoats

or patsies to do your

selfish bidding---to fight

your fight when you just

don’t feel up to it---your

god died years ago and

yet for such a long time

you have been kicking at

its carcass like a dead horse

with your shoes getting

caught in its fly-and-maggot

-ridden rib cage---all the

angels, all the special little

spiritual beings that you

felt once helped you through,

have passed on---they

vanished like water to ice to

steam---so now that you are

done chasing the holy

ghosts---now that the dragons

and demons and witches and

warlocks and spells and

specters are all defunct---

you have that talk with

your best of friends and

they tell you that they have

had enough of your

whining---they say that it

has been so long since

they have had a normal

conversation which might

exist between two friends---

and certainly, the shoulder

which you have been

leaning on for so very long,

it is losing most of its

strength---because your friend

only has so much energy

(they are, after all, only

human), and they

have their own lives to

live---and quite frankly there

is no obligation that comes

with a friendship---that is

the beautiful thing about

becoming one’s friend &

gaining a friend---the act of

doing so is mutually fun

and spontaneous---there is no

dictatorship telling you that

you need to be a friend with

said friend---and in that same

notion, you have no idea

when it will be that your best

friend may leave the

friendship---your moments

with them are extremely

rich & rare, and isn’t it

amazing how quickly we

forget that simple fact---so

you are left looking in the

mirror---your friends will

soon leave you, if they

haven’t already---the drugs,

the drink, the razorblades &

the pistol in the sink---they

are all symptoms of this

pathetic cliché that you have

become and worse yet, you

know it---it’s you and only

you---so whatcha gonna do?

“if you complain once more

---“

Reviews

[delapruch]

@ Chris G. Vallencourt. Thanks man!