crawling on our hands & knees in the desert

"I just made you up to hurt myself. And it worked." Trent Reznor, the song "only"

nibbling at the bit & quaking in our shoes

we trudge in a thirsty & bare balance through the sand

looking up ever so often to flip off the sun

for it beats down

harsh & unending

with the relentless rays which are bound to make our skin crisp &

glisten burning red with radiation

poisoning our days left here

marching into oblivion

but

oh,

on the horizon off in the distance

there is light shining down from the sky

penetrating through the white clouds that have “miraculously” appeared

and amidst all the light & beauty

there lies a pool of the cleanest, purest water

that anyone has ever seen

and we wipe our brow and

run &

run &

run &

to it.

 

and there it is!

a place of complete human humility

mixed with the magical passion of utopic dreams come true

where everyone thinks the same way

and everyone loves one another

underneath a starry sky filled with planets & constellations which

revolve all around us

because we alone are the most important creatures in this universe

and what we say

goes.

 

with no more differences

& no more feelings of angst against one another for any reason

we dwell with each other in this eternal paradise

where each one of us gets her/his own personal land of bliss

where our loved ones that have left us in one way or another

all come back & reunite with us

where there is no one who will ever be in need anymore

of anything

where all distinctions once made to divide us have been tossed to the wind

& all that remains is

tranquility

&

mutual forgiveness---

where the past has passed

&

there is no future

for the present is perpetual

&

growth is no longer an issue anymore.

 

all we have to do is

tell ourselves that this thing that watches over us

(which insists that its been there through our most promising moments

as well as our most disappointing moments),

is the best thing that has ever existed

& how fortunate we are to live with it for eternity

& how interesting

& great

& powerful

it is

& how that makes us feel all gushy inside

& how everything that it tells us is perfectly right

& how everything that we do is in accordance with that perfect right

& how we simply need nothing beside it

anymore.

yes, that’s all we have to do.

 

and then our eyes open to the familiar burning sensation---

the one that tells us without words

how stupid we were to fall asleep in the desert in the middle of the day

with no shade at all---

and we cough up the sand that we were “splashing” on our face & in our mouths

during our dream state.