obscenity

"They train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write f**k on their airplanes because it's obscene! " -Kurtz,"Apocalypse Now"

getting off the d-train one morning

@ the 125^th st. nicholas stop

&

walking toward the soup kitchen

where i was going to work that

day

i saw a young girl of maybe 6, 7 or 8

(i’m not good with age)

sleeping underneath a black garbage

bag---

she was sleeping outside the soup

kitchen,

no doubt, waiting for it to open---

& when i had crossed the street

completely

she rustled and got up from where she had been

laying

and moved out from in front of the

establishment

whose large gates were still drawn down &

locked.

 

what can there be said about this image

that would make it any more clear in your

mind?

 

when she was walking quickly away

i wondered where she was going &

what would become of her---like

any person with an ounce of

compassion in them

would---

still, i felt as ineffectual as a doorstop that

won’t keep a door open.

 

because when you don’t have money yourself

to pay your own rent & you are living in

an american city

where you walk past people who have been

forgotten

or

ignored

or worse yet,

they are being pushed away, out from in front of

stores on 5^th avenue & the like

you are crushed by the weight of

hopelessness---

when you understand that there isn’t

enough that one person can

possibly do---

& no matter how much your heart could

bleed

you are still just one person---

and in a manner of speaking,

you become just another component in a

failed system

in a

failed city

that perpetuates its cruel reality in a

failed country

that has left nothing to the imagination

when it comes to

neglect.

 

this vulgar truth

more profane than anything your ugly mouth

could ever muster

smacks you in the face as if someone

blindsided you with a baseball bat & like a

domino falling---about to hit the next &

then follow, colliding, one

after the

other---

you might find yourself sick to death of the

obscenity of it

all---

wanting to burn it all down

& to start over.