the cold reader

see note for reviewers.

mesmerized by the initial gaze,

the audience who has paid a pretty

penny

sits on the edge of their seats

waiting on

the cold reader’s

every word---

salivating at the very thought of

serenity

immersing their own lives

if in fact

this “clairvoyant,”

this “intuitive, psychic, visionary,”

this “spiritualistic, highly-perceptive, second-sighted & possibly

prophetic”

individual

delivers.

 

but the cold reader is a charlatan,

pure & simple---

s/he preys like a vulture waiting round the watering hold of the

weak,

eagerly anticipating a predator to show its teeth

so that soon

there will be a carcass to feast on.

 

people who have real issues in their lives,

some who have lost loved ones & who have nowhere else to turn

(or so they might honestly feel),

flock to these liars in order to try and actually speak with their

dead

loved

ones.

 

if you sit off to the side of one of these

sideshows,

you see the yearning in the eyes of all the sitters

matched by the supplier of words, who stands before them---

each sitter is ready & ever so willing to tell them

anything

which might give themselves meaning

which might connect them with one of their loved ones

without whom, they feel that their life has now

stopped

dead in its tracks.

 

people want so badly to find something else in life

than what actually exists right in front of them---

they get down on their knees, closing their eyes &

hope with all their might that something which they themselves cannot or

do not have the ability to accomplish on their own

will just

suddenly

appear

in their lives---

and if this individual can help them, then they will be

eternally

grateful.

 

the cold reader feeds them

“barnum statements”

(named after PT Barnum who coined “There’s a sucker born every minute.”)

which can apply to anyone

much like a horoscope which

having no actual human interaction,

must apply to everyone.

 

the best charlatans are able to field comments in a manner by which

every answer is a “hit”

and every hit furthers their own superiority in the

“reading”---

they use linguistic tricks

which allow them to force individuals to fall under their “spell.”

 

rather than making the more general statement that at times you can be

serious & focused

and at other times

you are amusing & the life of the party---

(which just means that you are both an

introvert & an extrovert---

like a million others on this planet)---

the more convincing “psychic” may apply it with more

lubrication---

in doing so they will leave you a hole in the conversation

wherein at this point,

you feel comfortable speaking with them

and you feel that they are listening,

that they care about you---

& then

your own ego fills the room

when you cling to what they say

and whether you say yes or no to the statements made

you still believe that it applies to you.

 

but the “spirit world” does not exist

nor does any specific importance applied to you as

one

single

human

being

on a planet of

6,852,472,823+---

if you need any evidence of this fact

ask yourself why you yourself cannot ever talk to these

“spirits” on your own?

you always need to pay someone to do it for you---

and while you are at it,

ask yourself why you can never get a straight answer from

anything that you pray to?

you always need to go to someone else

to tell you how it is that said thing you pray to

thinks & acts.

 

what is the moral of our story?

keep your hard earned cash in your pocket---

spend your money on quality time with the loved ones who are

still living,

and understand how fortunate you are to have friends & family

alive to talk with

when so many are utterly alone & forgotten during this

short time that we are

breathing.

 

the cold reader

is nothing but cold,

and the sooner you come to this conclusion,

the better off you will

be.

Author's Note

“If you are spending your life lying to people, how do you deal with it, other than rationalizing it in your own head after a while and decide, ‘well, I do kind of believe in it---and I do believe in intuition…I may not be psychic but I’m intuitive, and maybe that does give me an insight, and it comforts people’,,,and then you further rationalize it and maybe then create a loose belief around it that follows after the fact. But I think very few people get into it at that level from any kind of sincere beginnings. My feeling on that is well, if they’re lies, then who are you to decide that your lies are what people need to hear to comfort them?”

-Derren Brown