On rock, paper & scissors

i refuse to believe that paper could ever

beat

rock---

there are those

(in fact you may be one)

that swear by this game of chance

to make decisions ranging from the

choice of restaurant to have dinner at

to the name of their child

(if you don’t believe me---please explain to me

how it is that in the 21^st century there are 5 year

old boys walking around with the name “Rex,”

and little girls named “Bertha”),

and being that they swear by this game,

they swear allegiance to that sheet of paper

which they know deep down in their

heart        

of

hearts

could never ever

win in a

fight

against

rock. 

 

a rock

is part of the

lithosphere---

that is, the outer layer of the

earth,

which is comprised of minerals & is separated into 3

categories---

igneous

sedimentary &

metamorphic---

long story short,

“for more than 2 million years,

humans and other hominids” to build

dwellings, tools, etc.

 

paper,

is a “thin material mainly used for

writing upon.”

 

if one believes in the power of paper over

rock, they should ask themselves some

questions---

have you ever started a fire with a

rock?

have you ever torn a rock in half?

ever come across a “rock shredder,”

as you most assuredly have at least heard about a

paper shredder in your time?

should we continue?

 

believers in paper over rock will say

“paper beats rock by covering it”

really?

if you throw a blanket over a snarling

tiger,

will it defeat the tiger?

if you wear a raincoat in a london

downpour,

is it an absolute fact that you will remain

completely

dry?

 

stop this charade, paper lovers!

as of your reading of this poem,

the game “rock, paper, scissors,”

is officially being changed to

“tiger, paper, scissors”---

maybe now you will understand that

paper can’t do anything,

when confronted

with such worthy adversaries as

rock & paper.

 

this game should be banned,

pure & simple.

 

right now, in some part of the world,

a little boy is being beat up and put in a coat closet during

recess,

because his name is “Rex”---

a little girl named Bertha is being teased

for being a likeness of all the negative

stereotypes that come with this horribly outdated name---

all in the name of you absurd lovers of

paper,

believing that it could

ever

possibly

in a million zillion years

be a deciding factor in any major decision

whatsoever.

 

quit these shenanigans, and come over to the winning team of

ROCK!