PRIDE VII

PRIDE VII

 

(The following is a journal entry left by the 4^th century monk, Evagrius Ponticus concerning his discovery of “the eight deadly sins”)

 

Dear Sheep,

 

Baa Baa Baa!  I am writing to you because when you find this I will have finally left this

pathetic monastery and moved back to civilization.  My list of things to do the first second that I return to the land of women and material excess is as follows:

 

1. promiscuous sex with as many women as I can find
2. binge drinking the best wine I can find
3. all out thievery of as many homes that I stumble upon unguarded and the happy dance that will follow
4. one or two muggings before dawn (to let off some steam)
5. basking in my own glory

 

Hip hip hooray for me!

 

Happily Regretting Absolutely Nothing,

 

Evagrius, AD 375