artificial sweeteners

“If you’re going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.” -Marilyn Monroe

they come to you

as if honey-glazed & tip-toeing on

lilac petals

 

always smiling

always politely congratulating

for acts that anyone could really

do

 

squeaky clean with

sparkling white teeth that outshine

those found on toothpaste

commercials

 

always agreeing with you

always going out of their way to

accommodate

regardless whether you plan on spending a

moment longer

with them

 

always asking questions about your life

as if it is relevant to their own

even if this is the first time you have ever

met them &

when they do it

they do so nodding as if to

punctuate every point you make

about the seemingly uninteresting things

of which you pass on in the attempt to

get rid of them

 

bouncing with unlimited energy

as if they mixed the purest coke in their

morning allotment of oatmeal

(to play tricks on their heart) &

interjecting bits about their own lives

which you never asked about

which you never cared about

which make you want to get out of said situation

quicker than

two shakes of a lamb’s tail

(whatever that means)