applause junkies

sullen trappings that silence the most of us

making one ever more self-aware as each day passes

don’t seem to affect the applause junkie.

 

the quintessential attention w***e---

s/he who makes it a point to gain smiles

no matter what the cost

no matter how little substance exists within them,

tightening the cord round the arm

tapping the vein

they pass these same days by cutting off little pieces of

themselves

to sell at the market

sunup to sundown &

without the supposed affection of all those round them

the withdrawal sets in &

the twitching begins

the vomiting & the sleepless nights

with endless questions knocking relentlessly at the door

inside their minds

(“why don’t they like me?”

“why am i not loved by all?”

“is it that i’m getting older?”

“am i not as beautiful as i once was?”)---

then the screaming begins

with the showing up on doorsteps of people

whom they hardly pretended to associate with

only weeks before,

now on their knees like profusely sweating

end time christians

promising sloppy sexual favors

promising to remember you went they

get to the top

when they achieve whatever level of narcissism it is that

resides within their most lavish

dreams---

perpetually standing on the stage looking down on all of us

begging us all to

care.