the sham

the sex is good

the company is better

the times they have bring new laughs that carry on into the rest of the day

the smiles they share are

brought into other aspects of their lives &

the ability to be jealous

isn’t supposed to be there

because everything is cool

man

everything is cool---

but when not together,

s/he is chomping at the bit,

s**t, s/he’d dowse her nails in fertilizer

if s/he thought she could grow them back faster

(just to bite them all off again),

nervous at the thought that at any moment

the other party

with which so much fun is being had

now, is banging away the night

with someone who very well could be better at sex &

even better company,

whose laughs might carry on even further into the week &

whose smiles might even be brighter---

then the thought that paralyzes

comes into focus,

that the last time they were together

could have been the last time they will ever be together

because the person that they are out with right now

could replace them &

the phone stares up at them

(but they can’t call, no that isn’t cool) &

the individual letter keys whisper

“text text text away”

(but they can’t do that either, not cool, not cool)---

so the wait throughout the day

seems worthless,

because if they had never met this other individual

this topsy-turvy

nightmare

would not be occurring---

so it eats & it eats & it eats at her/him,

that what s/he wants to be serious

has to stay on casual footing

because to try & push it any further

might just push away the other person

who is having fun with the way things are,

so they try to comfort themselves

making deals with their own psyche

that if the other person doesn’t commit at said date

that they will up & go,

to find someone that will.