Rain

For those who enjoy the elements.

Peace and serenity
a steady drip, drop
a quiet noise of clatter
a hyper pitter, patter
the speed grows
the noise becomes unbearable
yet still relaxing is the sound
that provides a humid blanket
How intruding is the rain

Author's Note

This is my first color poem and I'd like to know what you think of it.

Reviews

[ChrisM]

Oh gosh I love this. Small point: is it "quite" or "quiet"? Your poem pulls me into its rhythm and images. This is very beautiful. I don't know what a color poem is? I don't see things in this poem, I hear a lot. Congratulations, you have a great gift.

[Phillitup]

I wrote it in color instead of black and white Thanks for your review! I'll change it to quiet. Thnx!

[Keekers11]

Love it. Short and sweet!

[Phillitup]

Thanks

[Tori Hughes]

the contradiction of the line "the noise becomes unbearable yet still relaxing is the sound" somehow really gets to me. i feel the same about rain. very good and very well done :)

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it! I enjoy hearing people tell me that they can relate to my writing.

[Tori Hughes]

no problem :) i love rain actually. unless it thunders or there is lightning. i have a problem with storms xD

[Phillitup]

so does my sister....i

[RachelReaper]

The first line absorbed me fully the theme was there, the message was there, very nice.

[Phillitup]

Appreciated

[RachelReaper]

whoa, your profile pic changed... cool one, though, and your welcome, buddy

[Phillitup]

thnx...check out "Fragment of Don't Turn the Light's Out"

[angelface13]

I think that it is pretty good. Can you try to visualize more next time? How does it make you relax? Is this clatter like a pan falling or a triangle being played?