Smart Phone?

A poem about my new smart phone

I bought a new smart phone it made me feel dumb

      It took me three hours to call up someone

 

       12 different call plans 10000 new apps

            I've been caught in a cellular trap

 

      I got so confused I needed expert advice

   Call in the phone wizard he'll make it all right

 

   So I called in my expert and I'm a wiz at it now

  My eight year old nephew he showed me how

 

I love all the new gizmos but I don't understand

Why they're obsolete when they land in my hand

 

Pages of contracts fine print I can't fathom

I think they want my bank account for ransom

 

Do I really need a phone that can do a CAT scan

Raise up the dead and make a stock option plan

 

Fire lazer cannons at flesh eating vampires

Tell me what disease will kill me before I retire

 

Jesus Christ man it's just a goddamn phone

I text to my friends when I'm feeling alone

 

Call people up get paged by my work

I don't need to have the latest app perk

 

One thing it does I think is all right

When I'm at work in the middle of the night

 

When I'm done cleaning and setting surgical fixtures

I can use my smart phone to look at girlie pictures

 

 

Author's Note

I've been to dark and heavy lately. Thought it was time to write something funny

Reviews

[Patricia B. Hepler]

So, do they call those things, "Smart Phones", for a reason: To show my generation that we're soooo oooolllllddd that my grandkids are the smart ones..?
My granddaughter actually called our trusty (& old) flip phone, "Cracker Jack". Nice kid, hum?

I agree: you did write something very funny! I love the sarcasm :
...'Do I really need a phone that can do a CAT scan
Fire lazer cannons at flesh eating vampires
Tell me what disease will kill me before I retire...'

Great poem, BR !

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading "Smart Phone" Pat

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

Haha, this is brilliant :)

The 8 year old nephew line made me smile.

I was the same with the BB lol

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks for reading CCCP.

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

My pleasure :)

[That_Guy]

haha well said. Very funny and so true. The Nephew part was great

[Mic]

Lol... amen! I hate phones. It's all I can do to work this silly little laptop.

Fun read!

[The Refined Poet]

this is hilarious and true! We all can relate. well done....

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! You are brilliant.
You made me laugh!
LOL, I had a new one too, lately,
And comment on a comment for 10 times
here on WC, because of that damned auto-correct...


E.L.

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! Thanx

[Pax]

hahahaha.....i can relate to it....i dont have anyone to turn for an advice so i asked google for help...guessing that technology is really growing...and more complicated than usual.. a humorous poem..well done my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx

[Tate Morgan]

Technology the double edge sword

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx

[Ama May Cooper]

Another cheeky and humourus instilation... i loved this as one of those 21st century wiss kids i always find almost impossible to believe how un-tech savy my parents and there kind are lol.
Lovely work, you catch the frustration and almost proudness of managing to use it perfectly

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx

[Kaylor Mason]

Awesome! I despair the madness of cell phones myself--I turn mine off when I'm out in public. The way I see it, if someone really wants to get ahold of me, they can darn well wait until I get home like a polite person

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx