M4 haiku

I'm not sure what haiku rules are so I'm sure I'm bending the crap out of them.

Bullet to the head

bone crumbles like dead insects

the flies crawl inside

Author's Note

M4 is a rifle used by US armed forces

Reviews

[That_Girl]

Syllables are fine. It's good. Made me cringe just a bit... in a good way I guess... :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review Avy

[Clayton Bardwell]

Excellent dark and raw imagery. Very Ricochet-ish.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review

[SpeedOfTaste]

Oh I thought "m" For haiku. And then it would be a bunch of m words. Interesting. Dead insects. Taste like chicken.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review

[Frieda P]

After you go 'gulp' it's great...nice job. ;)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review

[Corset]

;( perfect and sadly accurate, even if on the morbid side, still gotta write'em, walking in the world of Baby sometimes one meets up with the facts.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review corset

[DrD]

Harsh and raw but tragically true. Only note . . . it's "flies". Good job.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks doc. I fixed it

[KAOlmsted]

Don't you just love this format?? I find myself thinking in Haiku. This is really good, Baby. I don't know the rules, either, except the 5, 7, 5 syllable lines...from what I understand, it can be about anything if it's written in English ;-) Thanks so much for sharing this. (And yeah...what Marie said) *laugh*

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks baby

[Marie]

You kept to the rules (5-7-5 syllable count) perfectly, but you misspelled "flies".

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you marie. I fixed it.