Jade's Haiku

Jade was my troubled obsession.

Statuesque little sin

Newport menthols on metal breath

Ebony pixies dance

Author's Note

I used another sylible counter when I edited this so now the count is 6 7 6. I know that's still "wrong" but I for one won't be pushed around by the Japanese.

Reviews

[Victoria Elizabeth]

very good!!!!!!!! keep it up!!!!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you.

[KAOlmsted]

Ah...those b*****d Newports. Every bad boy I ever dated smoked Newports. Some smoked them just to get the ash ;-) This is crazy good, even with the 6, 7, 6...I think you've reinvented the Haiku, and quite frankly, I couldn't be more thrilled. Excellent write, Baby.

[Baby Ricochet]

I used a sylible counter on this one.

[Baby Ricochet]

Sylible counter said 5 7 5

[That_Girl]

Definitely not 5-7-5.

[KAOlmsted]

Defective syllable counter. Just do it on your fingers like I do! :-p Meanwhile, still a good write.

[That_Girl]

Stat-u-esque Li-ttle Sin
New-port Men-thal Me-tal Breath
E-bo-ny Pix-ies Dance
read moreStat-u-esque Li-ttle Sin
New-port Men-thal Me-tal Breath
E-bo-ny Pix-ies Dance

Yeah, kimmer's got it right.

[KAOlmsted]

I guess that poem of House's should be edited to kimmer is always right *laugh*

[That_Girl]

looool that would make me sad. ;)

[kublakhan27]

Your best haiku to date...perfect.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you.

[That_Girl]

Holy s**t.... there's more imagery packed in here than most of my full length poems..... damn. Nice job.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you