Realm of Contemplation

Strange how sadness

radiates

through the tainted windows of 

a lost generation,

quantum heaps of 

superficiality and 

angst.

Strange how darkness

invades

young minds

each day,

contemplating

each sorrow,

our fingerprints

identical

through unimaginable

deeds.

Strange is the hypocrisy

we bend our knees to,

willingly,

obliviated 

of those who

aren’t even

half as lucky

as we are.

Strange are the 

complaints,

threats,

always 

lusting 

for more

than enough.

Author's Note

*Title Credit: the left-handed smoke-shifter
Previously titled "Strange"

Reviews

[Rosalind Gale]

Hello hello Melinda,
I love the structure. just simply the way it 'appears' to me. I dislike poems which look clunky or like blank walls. I can forgive it if the poem is good, so often it is not. It is a meander through mediocrity. Anyway, in a nice way you remind me of the way I like to write (please do not be offended!) - just the right amount of everything that is required, a sense of what is happening as well as what maybe happening. I am a big lover of slight repitition - so you have me there too, with the continued use of the word 'strange.' I have read several of your other poems and I feel you have a certain way about you, your own voice I suppose (gosh, I hate those cliches) - and that is something worth so very much in writing - and in life.
Rosalind -xx-

[demureminds]

I am not offended at all! Thanks, I am trying my best not to fall into a certain category of writers, unless it is my own (: Haha I hope that is not a cliche but anyway, thank you for this in depth review as well as your kind words, I honestly really appreciate it.

[Rosalind Gale]

I like this very much. I will be back to give a more coherent review, I am afraid I have drank too many vodka martinis. Still, I feel the worth in your work.

[demureminds]

Haha aw thanks, I appreciate it!

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

funny, right before I found this piece, I was gonna write a poem called "realm of contemplation"--or maybe as a subtitle, or w/e they call it; I think it would be more apt for this piece..I figure since you're thinking of changing it anyway, and this piece needs more than a mono-syllabic one word title..not that the title is bad, but you're poem quickly outgrew it...ok back to the poem itself...
"our fingerprints identical through unimaginable deeds"..I love phrases like this that create a whirlpool loop in my brain when I try to move past them..it sort of challenges you against your will..It's on the edge of conscious reflection twirling you with its finger.
moving on..there's a grammatical error, in the last stanza "is" should be "are"..not a big deal...
You went in depth and stayed pretty focused with this piece..pieces like this tend to be very prose heavy, but you lean more towards balancing it with interesting imagery..
I think with a poem like this you have to keep the flow simple without overgeneralizing and being cliche..you did that well
it speaks like a neo-sage, easy on the eyes and heart and mind
it challenges the mind and refuses to insult it's intelligence
I could go on, but I'll just end by saying I like the universal themes you touch on and how you put them across

[demureminds]

Yeah I'm the worst with titles, I can never think of anything creative at all, but I really like yours so if you're not planning on using it and are willing to let me, let me know haha.
And wow I didn't even notice that error, I mostly just post right after writing so thanks for spotting that!
Thanks for the in depth review too!

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

sure, go for it, if you think it'd be useful :) I sort of have a mentor that's been writing for as long as you and I have been alive combined, and he pointed out that in most cases 2-3 word titles are best..I'm always putting together weird phrases and spotting them in conversation..sometimes you just have to realize that it's just as useful to act like you are five y/o as to be a sage..and you're most welcome..you don't necessarily have to push the envelope like I do to be a better writer, in a lot of ways, I consider your writing and writing like yours to be more refined..it's all a matter of perspective...our only responsibilities in writing are (IMHO) exploration and appreciation and integration

[demureminds]

Oh thanks, changing it right now (:
And gee such nice words, thanks again for that.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

yw..whoot, I named it!

[demureminds]

haha

[pumpkin head]

I enjoyed this i wouldn't change it.
I thought it was nice, i've known these feelings a time or two

[demureminds]

Thanks! (: