i'm going to kill myself

this dissonance grew in me. 

i'm going to kill myself very soon. i'm going to kill myself very soon.

i succumbed. i promised you i would. 

i whimpered, hiccuped, pathetic;

i shuddered; hitched. i panned its apex,

my blade glinted, gleaming red it flared open my trunk;

protruding in the sharp bevel of herself, 

i hate her for so much of it; i wish i could f*****g kill you!

i wish i could f*****g kill you!!

dissonance. 

dissonance.

the self-scrutinizing, artifacted sound of distorted hums bellied me, in her stomach, 

i felt every riff of it ripple through my texture of skin;

i felt every grain, every ripple of it resonate my tender bones;

i wish i had a reason to live;

i see my end near me more than it crescents;

this sorrow bellies me, 

i'll never be worth it. so petty of that worthwhile note you're throwing me.

i've absolutely deplored you. 

they'll never see it. they'll never really see it. 

swallowed a jar of that. 

divergence has made me ill. i cried pathetic.

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