Revenge

Electrified razor blades of fury

Slash through my veins in boiling rage.

Hot tears of frustration stream down my cheeks,

A deathly gloom of river Styx.

 

Adrenaline, pumping the drilling beat of my heart.

I could kick, I could punch, I could scream.

Vile glimmer of loath pierces my ebony pupils

I could run, I could grab, I could kill.

My usually kind blue soul turns murky black,

As my inner demons are woken up

From the hells of my twisted conscious.

You hurt me, I will not stand it.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Raw emotions expressed so well. Empowering! Lydi**

[dianalondon]

Thank you so much Lydi! You understand what I aim to portray so well.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing description of anger. I had to read again. Sometime we can be pushed to the limit. Inner demon can appear and someone is in trouble. I like the closing lines. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[dianalondon]

Thank you so much Coyote, I am glad you enjoyed reading this. I am happy the emotions I wanted to portray came through to the readers. :)

[Lisa Victoria]

I could feel the rage and frustration behind this piece....well done.

[dianalondon]

Thank you so much :) :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Lots of rage in this one... the punch lines within the second stanza really give this action... I would suggest in some parts a change in words:

The vile glimmer of loath pierces through my ebony pupils
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vile glimmer of loath pierces my ebony pupils

My usually kind blue soul turns murky water black,
As my inner demons are woken up
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My usually kind blue soul turns murky black,
As my inner demons are woken

gives more with less.... and the clarity is there... Of course... these are just suggestion... you can do what you like with your work...

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much for your critique and suggestions, I agree with you! :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Sami Khalil]

I felt the power of words and emotions...Well penned...:)

[dianalondon]

Thank you very much Sami! :)

[Inspiring Writer]

You've to continue this write i must say, it's a great write. I liked your title too "REVENGE", you remind me about some warriors through this piece... Hey, if you've watched a movie name "300" (spartans") you'll feel the same about this. Your Imaginary's great and i loved your write as well as theme. Last stanza's powerful... you too seem a great writers as others're. Every line's filled with some deep impact of your write, life and Revenge as well. If you post some more writes here i couldnt' be control myself to read youse one too :)
so, keep writing and don't give up and don't leave writing. You're going well.

[dianalondon]

Thank you so much for your comment. I am so happy you have enjoyed it and wrote so positively about my piece. You yourself are a talented author, I have read through a few of your pieces.

[Inspiring Writer]

Your welcome and i really do appreciate your words that you think in that way about me :) Thank you so much, you're surely a great and a talented writer. :)