Anatomy of a Death

An unknown passage spoken by the winds

She had always reminded me of this: just as death clings as a reminder to us, she always wanted a glorious death in her disdainful and regrettable life. She always said she wanted to die beautifully; I know that and the value of it. She'd never wanted this life or even the beauty of it, but how do I tell that to a human inside a machine? She used to tell me that the human body is the most intrinsic artwork that failed, yet somehow strived under all conditions, survived under stars and galaxies, and atop bones. She categorized it in three parts: the soul, the flesh, and the bones. She always started with the bones, the ugly hidden below, yet somehow they always stay and never leave. Bones, as she defined them, will always be lifeless and ugly, and without the flesh, it is the most hideous, and that is why it is inside of us. Next is the flesh, the fundamental, the basics, and the most tender. It is our sensation and the ability to express emotions that's why it's soft, and sadly, that's why it clings to the bone. Because we are so soft, we decided to eat animals; however, I think it is natural to us because we cannot outrun our softness inside. Lastly, the soul, the unexplained, the infinite, the indefinite. It is us, incarnate. It is the link to the flesh and the bone under reluctant circumstances. It is the truth, but the punishment for us is that we can never understand a soul and only watch it. Without the soul, we are none but an amalgamation of dirt and blood, and that is our punishment. She used to say all this, unconsciously and consciously. She reminded me that so I can bury her without frightening myself or, worse, getting upset. But, I fear, she made one mistake, and that is describing the humanity of anatomy like a machine to dismantle. I don't blame her; she is a machine. Machines are always meant to break down, and that's why her death is her biggest achievement and masterpiece. And so, she always told me in order how she wanted to be dismantled. First, she said she always wanted her heart shared. I know what she means. So we ate her. The heart is a well-exercised muscle. When raw, it was quite stubborn, but when cooked, it became softer. If it's overcooked, it becomes tough. It typically has a very "beefy" taste. We ate her heart, not beating, in silence. Next, she said she always loved gardening, so she ordered her bones to be crushed and used as fertilizer for plants. She was very specific about the plants: deadly nightshade, angel's trumpet, and cactus. We had a tough time crushing her bones; it was quite heavy, really heavy. Next, her eyes, she wanted them gouged out and to be thrown in the deepest ocean where no lie can get to it. We followed. Lastly, she wanted to be cremated. I was the only person against it and told her to donate her body to those in need. She laughed and declined and said, "I don't want my pain transferred to another." I decided not to interfere. Then, she said she wanted her ashes scattered in a lake. She said her body will soon learn to find her eyes where the lake meets the ocean. Then, we did it. When there weren't any anymore parts for the machine, it ceased to exist. I didn't say it for years, but she's gone, truly. She died beautifully. I also just didn't want to say it. It was a random Thursday, really, where I breathed way too loud that day but refused to cry. But I'd like to believe she's somewhere out there, somewhere in the winds, somewhere swimming deep down in the seas, with the nitrogen-rich soils, and in the flowing bodies of water. She had always reminded me of this.

Reviews

[Joss Jeffrey]

Your work is absolutely remarkable, and I will love to help to bring it to life through story art and animation and also i can help you to reach a broader audience. Do you have any other social media account when we can connect? you can find me on this Telegram: @Yaroslava_6ixyes or discord: @yaroslava70

[diggydigs]

thanks for reaching out. appreciate the sentiment. i’m terrible. i don’t seek audiences, but i won’t fight them either. i would, but i won’t. the gesture is noted. many thanks. i’m creatively bankrupt and morally ambiguous, so feel free to use the work. i won’t stop you. i won’t enjoy it either. hide me in the credits. or don’t. none of this is real anyway.