Smiling Faces

A poem of love, joy and laughter

Smiling Faces

Smiling faces,
fun places,
feeling the sun,
wanting to run.

Enjoying the scene,
setting the routine,
where love is found,
just hanging around.

There is no sadness,
or any madness,
for love is found,
if you hear the sound.

Love is joy,
love is laughter,
and everything that comes,
ever after.

The passion is there,
if you truly care,
the flames of desire,
rise even higher.

Love is a precious thing,
if you are not mean,
it’s never routine,
if you are seen.

Love is a desire,
in so many ways,
it lifts you up,
right into space.

Embracing the feeling,
will leave you reeling,
embracing your love,
will lift you to above.

Keep the love burning,
deep inside,
embracing the yearning,
makes you feel alive.

So keep your love in your heart,
feel it in your soul,
it will last forever,
as you grow old.

Reviews

[JayG]

The purpose of metrical poetry isn’t to rhyme, but to provide a meaningful thought. The rhyme is an accent that helps the reader keep a measured cadence—the tink of the cymbal, not the thud of a drum.

As an example, take a look at Stephen Service’s: The Cremation of Sam McGee. Written over a hundred years ago, it still has the power to get the reader toe-tapping to the beat of the rhyme, while focused on the words of the story being told. And it still, after all that time, has the power to bring a smile at the conclusion.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45081/the-cremation-of-sam-mcgee

Look at the progression of your poem. Stanza 1 places the reader outdoors, in the sun, “wanting to run.”

But in S2, we’re just hanging around? Makes no sense. Nor does the outdoors make sense as “where love is found. But you needed rhymes, so…

And then in S3, “Love is found if you hear THE sound?” What sound? We’ve run. We’ve “hung around” an unknown place, and now we’re hearing an undefined sound?

You have intent guiding your understanding. But the reader? Lacking the context that drives your understanding, they’re lost—which explains why there have been fewer comments on your work than you might want.

Stephen Fry’s book, The Ode Less Traveled, has a really great except, one that addresses prosody brilliantly. You might want to take a look. It had a dramatic effect on my view of writing it, and I think it might for you, as well, given that the problems I noted are a result of missing information, not talent.