The Door

about my father and if you know me.... thats enough said =) but you dont so go on and read.

The door was shut long ago
and furniture now sits in front
casualy blocking passage through
the handle is rusted and dusty.
Many times the door was painted over
sealing it shut
forgotten.

 

Until the day you forced it open
flacks of paint
clouds of dust
and spiderwebs
disturbed and scattered to the ground.

 

With the man I have never known
standing with open arms
waiting for a warm welcome
into the heart he left behind.

 

But you clash with my decore
so leave,
you’re harsh on my eyes
because dead-beat-dad just doesn’t fit in around here.

Author's Note

any ideas what i can do to help the last stanza?
any other thoughts and ideas are warmly welcomed.
[and a pine needle just fell into my cup... wonderful]

Reviews

[The Mad Prophet]

But you clash with my decore
so now I am asking you to leave
you're harsh on my eyes
because your a dead-beat-dad
That just doesn't fit in around here.


How is that? I like it your way, but it seems you are looking for another way. I present to you an open path to take, Enjoy.

[Zach Poehlein]

I like this much better than "weak." It is a much stronger piece that seems alot more objective and honest. Your first stanza is your strongest. Try to finish strong. You kind of burnt yourself out after the first stanza.