The Ninth of December

writen 12-09-07 about both family and friends.

Gently slid aside
Unless of course, someone wants to hang out
But they always seem to slide me aside if I’m having some problem.

I’m always there for them when they need a friend
But where is everyone when I need someone?

 

When I just need to look someone in the eye and say
“the dreams are back I cant stand to be alone at night anymore and I can hardly stop crying.”

 

Where are they when I am crying and just want a hug?

 

I wonder if when they say they love me
They just mean that me that laughs with them,
And listens to them when they need a friend.

 

I don’t think anyone loves the me that cries
Or the me who hates to be alone at night
The me who is slowly falling apart.

 

They all love the me I have created
The one who seems so strong sometimes
…the one who doesn’t really exist.

Author's Note

again, thoughts ideas commens anything?
[not completely true... i believe there are 3 now who love me even when i'm falling apart, and 3 more who at least care if i'm falling apart, but still relevent on some levels]