again? really?? why?

he's grounded... no phone, no contact, for 2(ish)months... i dont want to do this, to deal with such a thing... i just want him.

I take a deep breath
hold it in
count to ten
repeat until i'm healed.
Until the tears no longer fall
Until my heart doesn't pund out of controle.

I've repeated it again and again since he told me
but i'm not healed yet.
Its been two hours.
I broke a cup shortly after,
unable to focus on the dishes i was washing.

I held the tears at bay until i was safe from concerned eyes
It shouldn't hurt this much
it really shouldn't.

Author's Note

anything to say? anything to brighten my spirits or help me with writing? everything is welcome, as always.