Chapter One: Blood

Waiting for a bloody exhale

Chapter one…

I feel the coldness of the hard cement floor against my tough slightly bruised cheek of my face. The taste of blood lingers in my mouth. I try to move my body but I feel like I’m bounded up. Arms unable to move to get me up. I feel helpless. I turn to roll as the smell of stale urine and cold blood hits my nostrils. Sounds awful to me, I want to throw up. The room is spinning, I’m unable to focus. My left eye feel bruised and I’m barely able to open it. Darkness fills the room with just a ray of light coming from behind me. It’s extremely cold in here, I shiver violently. I have no fear being here, though in the back of my mind, I feel it isn’t safe for me here. I lick my lips, more taste of blood. Tastes a bit good to me. I try to sit up but the pain in my stomach makes me want to howl. Nothing comes out. I feel sick so I roll to the padded wall and I’m able to lean against it. I sit there alone, waiting for a bloody exhale. I cough, and a stray of blood hits the ground and side of the wall. This taste of blood almost seems familiar in a way for me. My eyes focus in. Where am I? Who am I? More importantly, what am I? As those thoughts cross my mind, I black out in a blissful sleep.  

Reviews

This is an interesting start. A few grammar errors here and there, but overall an interesting read.The line "Sounds awful to me." seems out of place and detracts from the flow and feel you set in the first three lines. Also the last line "blissful sleep" is a bit contrary to the rest of the setting. Nice start loads of room to grow.

[Balls:)]

ooooh, s**t.... :)

[Megan]

I like the introduction of this, how you started it. with more questions than answers really. and how you set up the scene in a way that was interesting and not just a list. arouses interest to see what will happen next!

[∂αʌ<..]

you awakened curiosity...whats next on the menu??

[A.E. Surdam]

Wow, now I want to know what is going to happen next. More! Please. :) Love it. :)